Cairn Community

totally agree. the challenge is complex. on the one hand, the cairn has to believe that you set the rules and nothing will get you to be inconsistent. nothing. on the other hand, the cairn has to believe you are fair, trustworthy, friendly. once you get the hang of it it is not so hard and is a valuable life skill. but getting there is hard. you want to be kind of melty when they are good and kind of pouty when they are bad. it is also necessary to be a bit impassive. they like to push buttons.  seems like she has gone from liking and trusting you to deciding to own you. i think humans do this at about age two. what about conditioning her to accept short absences and then lengthening them? no treats. no giving in. make it ten minutes and make it absolute. lengthen it. i think if she knows you are coming back, and that there is a consistency to it, and that she has no choice but to accept it, you will get there. ignore all screaming and shouting and whining and threats to be destructive (if she gets destructive make her wait someplace indestructible like a bathroom or laundryroom). don't bat an eye. don't deviate from your plan. cairns are determined and would like to make all the rules. but they are also practical and will not waste time on campaigns that produce absolutely no result.

Rolling on toads or frogs is okay, but eating either, a NoNo!

Agree with above. Either you are in charge or the cairns are. It takes time.   

These two are following closely in the steps of their forebears! Look at that face. "What do you mean I need a bath"

Patience, persistence, and taking the long view.   A completely different thing but just an example: I worked hard, weekly, for well over a year just to get a dog to take a dumbbell from me. Once she "got" it, it was locked in and a new favorite thing to do. But on the road to getting there you'd think she would rather die than take that dumbbell.   I don't quite understand what you mean by I can't go away. Is she having a tantrum when you do?  When a Cairn believes it is setting the rules for you to follow it helps to develop a rock-hard, "nice try buster, but that's not how it works" attitude — no sympathy, no discussion,  just go about your business and do what needs doing like she doesn't exist in the moment. Obviously you also have to limit damage potential, using crates, expens, barriers, leashes, spare rooms, or whatever the environment offers or allows.