Imminent Loss

[Pepper Bug's Mom]

Pepper and I breathed a sigh of relief reading your posts the last two days!  Olie is one tough boy!!!!  Hugs to you and your family!!!

[Angieh]

Hope Ollie keeps feeling better. I lost my cairn Benny to widespread cancer right before New Years. He had intestinal adenocarcinoma but after an emergency surgery, we got to keep him for a little over 6 months longer. I was never sad I spent the money to take care of him and have more time with my boy. Thinking of you and your family as you go through the recovery and the rest of Ollie's life.

[tlwtheq]

Hi Everyone.  Thanks for your good wishes.  Olie seems to be perky as can be.

The veterinarian told us that,

1. it was a grade 2 sarcoma (lower number would have been better, didn't get it all)

2. If we were going to go for radiation therapy it should be now (just picked him up last Saturday)

3. That the therapy would cost $5,000.00, but that's not the deal-breaker.

4.  The nearest clinic was/is 78 miles away,

5.  That Olie would have to go 5 times a week for 3-4 weeks, and be anesthetized for each treatment.

 

Number 4 and 5 are the deal-breakers.  I could probably talk DH into the drive 5 times a week, but that

would mean Olie would be anticipating that as well.  It would make his life miserable.

I love him so deeply.  I don't want to put him through that kind of rigorous treatment at age 14.5.

 

Look, I would borrow the money.  But my non-human babies hate the ride to the vet.  All of you

know that they know when that's happening.  Now turn it into a 1.5 hour drive each way, and then

him feeling like crap after the treatment.

 

I want my baby to feel happy if (and I say "if") these are his latter days.

 

What does everyone think?

 

Tara

 

Oh, got it wrong.  Gettysburg, PA (alternate hospital, 75 miles) is three miles closer than Leesburg, VA (78 miles).

Edited May 7, 2015 by tlwtheq

[sanford]

No question, you made the right decision. Ollie will live his life free from the discomfort of radiation therapy, free from the stress of repeated, continuous long car trips, and free from the anxiety-inducing vet visits. (As you already said, "they know what's happening.").

 

Please don't give yourself up to second-guessing and needless aggravation... Enjoy each day as it comes... in the same way that Ollie does, as he continues to make you laugh and enrich your life!

[pkcrossley]

i don't know if you have made up your mind or if you are really asking. if you have made up your mind i don't want to stir things up.

 

i do have very precise experience with this. the clinic was a hundred miles away (coastal massachusetts from vermont). we had to go 5 days a week for a month. the only difficulty redmon had was missing breakfast. i packed something and he ate as soon as he got into the car to come home. the dogs (and cats) do not feel like crap afterward. that is because they get a mild dose --the goal is not to cure the cancer or eradicate the tumor, but to ease symptoms. there is no sickness or weakness afterward.

 

the anesthesia was, for me, a huge issue. i hated the thought of it. fortunately it is really more like a heavy tranquilizer. redmon was normally out for less than ten minutes, and he never showed any symptoms afterward of having been anesthetized.

 

it was sheer luck that i was free to make the drive to the clinic each workday for a month. that would normally have been impossible for me. the clinic boarded dogs whose owners could not make the drive (there was one couple from northern vermont who were farmers and had a three-hour drive each way). the dogs went home on the weekends during treatment. it would have broken my heart to have had to board redmon under such circumstances, but i suppose i would have done it in this instance.

 

i wrote a bit about this, and the range of dogs and cats who were there for treatment. some people were trying to buy a few weeks, some months, some were hoping for a few years. everybody was clear that the animals were not suffering, it was their humans who were putting in the time and money and had to make all the calculations as to the effects of it. we sat in the waiting room with a dozen pets each morning and they were all happy and relaxed and a few strange ones even seemed to think the visits were fun. in redmon's case, successful treatment was expected to bring a a year to eighteenth months of good health. he had a non-cancerous brain tumor that was killing him as it grew larger; without treatment he had no future at all (i should add, he was 10.5 years old when diagnosed). the results were brilliant in one way --he recovered from the radiation with no side effects and was very healthy for a year. but it was on the low side of the range because of the size of the tumor when we started the radiation. in retrospect i was happy i did it. it was a great year, very important for both of us. 

 

ollie's situation is different, because 1) it is a cancerous tumor and 2) he is older now than redmon could have hoped to live to even if the treatment had had maximum effect.  you would need to know the chances of remission, or tumor reduction, with treatment, and the prospects for how quickly the disease will progress without treatment. all complicated issues but probably necessary to consider. what is probably important to be clear about it is that the radiation does not have the effects on animals that it has on people, because of the low dose. and the anesthesia, while terrible to think about, is also very mild and is extremely unlikely to have any dangers to it. 

 

i know that doesn't help. i've been there, and this is a very personal decision that only you can see the whole picture of. 

Edited May 7, 2015 by pkcrossley

[tlwtheq]

Thank you.

[Hillscreek]

Cannot advise. In your heart you know what best for Olie. It has to be about him not you - of course I know you know this.

Each of my old ones last days were different as each of them were.

Thoughts strongly with you Tara.

[Sam I Am]

I also don't want to sway you in either direction also. But can only give you my experience.

Jocks cancer no doubt had been around for over a year...I didn't have a clue except for a slight of and on limp which I thought was arthritis. Within a little more than a week after being diagnosed he went down hill very quickly. He was close to 13 yrs of age, I would not have done anything even if there was potential procedure that would leave him on this earth ...for me. And for me that was the turning point. Who was I doing this for, him, or me. i know they don't react the same as humans to cancer therapies, however it's a stop gap in most cases, not a cure. As horridly hard as it was to let Jock go, I couldn't bare to put him through going to the vet over and over again, a place he really didn't like at all. In his case there were no options. The cancer was systemic.

Financially it can be crippling also...for a disease that often is not curable. So you have to weigh all the facts.... quality of life, financial, and also what An emotional toll it is having on your animal but also yourself, your family and your quality of life. I would have practically done anything for Jock, but death would have found him sooner than later, and he went peacefully in my arms. In Jocks case he was suffering not so in Olies at this moment.

Olie sounds like he is enjoying his life. if the vet thinks the therapy will cure him, with little side effects, you can afford it financially, then you have some thinking to do. If it's going to cripple you financially, stress out everybody concerned and only buys him a little more time then that's also something to think about. I don't envy you in your decision one way or the other. We are all behind and beside you in what ever decision you take.

[Lynn in TN]

My heart is breaking for you. I would hate to make a decision like this myself. I have no experience with cancer in dogs, but I have a lot of experience with cancer in humans.

A lot of my family members have had it. The ones that only had it removed are still living a good quality life. The ones that were treated with radiation and chemo all but one passed away. All that were treated with chemo and radiation said they wished they could go back in time and choose not to do radiation and chemo. They stayed sick and weak, and could not enjoy their remaining time that they had left.

Dogs are different. I could not tell you what to do. I can't even tell you what I would do. I know what I think I would do, but it is always different when it is happening to you.

Just know that we Love you and your sweet fur babies. We are behind whatever you decide to do. You know your fur babies better than anyone could. Also know that you are in my thoughts and prayers constantly throughout the day.

[hheldorfer]

I honestly don't know what I would do if I was in your shoes Tara.  It's a decision each person has to make for themselves, weighing all the pros and cons.  As Lynn said, whatever decision you make will be the right one - I'm sure about that.  I pray that you will be able to find peace, whichever way you go.

[Dempsy's Mom]

Thinking of you and wishing you all and Olie the best.

[tlwtheq]

So far so good.   DH and I decided that, given the distance and the stress (on Olie) of being treated 5 times a week, we're not

going for the radiation therapy.  If the tumor grows back, we'll probably weigh the value of having it removed again and will

do so if he's still otherwise OK.  Thanks for thinking of us.

[LindaMC]

I believe that's the decision that I would choose.  With Maisie, she hates riding in the car and I seriously believe it is because most of the time I'm taking her to either be groomed or to the vet; so long distance rides for treatment would have to be weighed very carefully.  I only hope that if the time comes for me to have to make a decision of this sort, I am strong enough to do so.  Your doing an amazing job and both you and Olie are in my thoughts and prayers. 

[pkcrossley]

very reasonable course. wishing you all the best. 

[tlwtheq]

Well, Olie's tumor is back.  We've made an appointment with the surgeon who did the prior removal.

It's smaller than the last one, which is why we're acting immediately.

[Hillscreek]

That's hard to hear Tara. Very good to act at once. Hoping for the best for Olie.

[Dempsy's Mom]

So sorry.  Poor little Olie - good luck at the appt.

[sanford]

As others wrote, I am so sorry for this turn of events. Wishing for the best for you!

[Sam I Am]

Hang in there Tara and Olie. Thinking about you both and sending good thoughts your way.

[hheldorfer]

Very sorry to hear this Tara.  Best wishes for a successful surgery and quick recovery.

[Autumn & Lola]

Poor Ollie and poor you. I am sorry to read this. It's good you acted so quickly. I hope he has an easy recovery.

[tlwtheq]

Thanks, everyone.  We knew there was a substantial probability the tumor would grow back as we were told the surgeon couldn't get all of it the first time.  Why do heavy medical bills and unemployment have to happen at the same time?

[Malcolm's Dad]

So sorry to hear this. Wishing the best for poor little Ollie.

[kjwarnold]

I'm so sorry...

[josie&holly]

So sorry to hear this, you have a difficult time ahead with decisions to make and I know how hard it can be, but pray that Ollie is cared for in the best possible way.  Thinking about you all.