Worrying about my pup

[hheldorfer]

We truly appreciate your updates, especially because we know how frazzled and upset you are right now. I hope writing the updates gives you a chance to vent and sort out your feelings as well as keep us in the loop.

In my opinion you can't go wrong if you follow Currey's lead. You're partners in this now.

Blessings, prayers and whatever else I can muster for you and Currey,

Helene

[Lynn in TN]

My heart goes out to you. Thinking about you both, and praying for you both constantly.

[Sam I Am]

In the end only you in your heart will know what is best for Currey and your family... what ever you decide to do please know that all of us are behind you 100%.

[ScruffynMag]

Pkcrossley, what a wonderful post and you put it so well, you put it all in perspective. My friend has Lymphoma as I said before and hers goes into remission and like you say, who is to know what time is left. If you can gain a few months or even more of good quality life then it's all worth it. I hadn't thought about it before but you are quite right saying a year is a long time in a dogs life.

As others have said, Jodi you will know what's best to do and with the help of Currey. We're thinking about you and Currey and thanks for the updates.

[Ivy & Lucy's Mom]

We continue to keep you in our prayers! Renee

[Rohnda]

What a roller coaster for you all. You mentioned the "quality of life." You are so right to keep that in the fore most of your thoughts. I update my husband and Luigi (our cairn) daily on your journey and as I mentioned we are all thinking of you. I know that everyone probably has a dog story (or more) to add to your ideas of quality of life decision. Just remember that decisions made are yours for the making. What feels right to you, your husband and Currey will always be the right thing to do.

I hope round two is a positive treatment and that Currey continues to feel his "spunk." Wishing you well tonight and hugs for everyone.

[Meggie]

Hoping the best for Demps <3

[Idaho Cairns]

I'm just following the thread and hoping with everyone else.

[TazTalk]

These little guys have a way of telling us what is best - just look for the signs. And in times of decision, I have relied heavily on the vet's advise.

I will keep you in my prayers.

[chips]

just reading your post now,,,,good luck and I hope things turn for the best for both of you

[jodi0553]

Hi All, Its been another long day but we're feeling pretty good after a nice 1.5 hr visit with Currey. So here's the short version of what's been going on. The critical care vet passed Currey's care to the internal medicine vet because he's relatively stable. The internal medicine guy met Currey for the first time yesterday morning. Before that, the critical care vet had really worked with us and Currey to give us an honest yet optimistic view of his odds. She told us several times that the other guy had a "quiet" bedside manner and went out of her way to introduce us to his techs and give us her cell number. I had my suspicions, although I admittedly don't have too much sense about myself right now given the amount of stress this past week has brought. ANYWAY, "quiet" was a euphemism for "coldly clinical". Even DH who is a stoic midwesterner agrees on that measure. From my interactions with him thus far, it is almost as though he sees dogs and people as objects full of blood and organs. The critical care vet is officially not our doc but is still advising us and actually admitted that she's coming back over the weekend to tweak Currey's fluids, etc but has to wait a bit to do that so she doesn't stomp on his turf. anyway, she's an angel and has done amazing things for Currey and for us and I am sad to see her leaving our case officially.

We're still looking at (by mr pessimism's measures) about a 50/50 chance of the chemo yielding a remission. We've come to terms with the idea that remission could mean only 6 months, but we can tell how much Currey wants to go home so we're continuing the course and hoping that it works. When we go out for walks, he is so happy to be outside but has parked himself in front of the car and had a little sit down fit about us not getting in the car. Tonight, we went outside and he just wanted to sit at the curb and watch the world go by despite the cold. I sat down next to him and he snuggled up next to me and we had some really good quality time. Then we got to hang out inside and we got some pee pads to cover one of the chairs in the visit room and he got to act like a proper cairn and sit up on human furniture and get petted a lot. We still could hit an obstacle over the weekend as platelet count is worrisome or he could just not respond to the chemo. There's still a lot up in the air, but we also know that we should see signs of the chemo working by Monday or Tuesday. Currey is still barely taking food and having intermittent diarrhea, which is frankly just about his biggest worry about himself. He REALLY doesn't like a poopy butt and is not a fan of the diaper rash ointment that is being used to heal his little rear. So, all and all, it's going okay but we know it could go bad anytime. We're getting a difference of opinion on giving plasma from the two docs - the one who took over suggested he get some for the weekend, the one who had been treating wants to avoid - so we have some confusion there as it is 1) expensive and 2) therapeutically helpful but 3) could be dangerous as he could catch an infection from it and is currently immunosuppressed. So confusing!

Thanks especially to those of you who have recently shared your stories of heartache, loss, and cancer with your pets. I know nothing in life is guaranteed, and to love is to risk loss, but still am behind in processing how my sweet young little dog got this sick this fast. I am slowly catching up with that processing and starting to take the ups and downs in stride, but as the initial numbness wore off, the pain was raw and confusing. I feel like this community is people who understand how much love I feel for this little guy and it is hard to know if people outside of here get it. It is very cathartic for me to write this down and makes me feel so much better to know you are all out there all over the country and world checking in on us. DH (aka Andy) has been in reading your posts and it means a lot to all three of us in our little family to have you all on our side.

[tlwtheq]

Our hearts and prayers are with you.

[hheldorfer]

Thanks so much for the news. I understand how confusing it is dealing with the different doctors and their differing ways of approaching Currey's illness. It has been my experience (with human doctors, particularly) that the more specialized doctors tend to be more "coldly clinical" - an irritating trait when you're facing emotionally charged choices and decisions. I'm sure the new doctor cares about Currey but he probably has insulated himself from getting too attached to his patients. Try not to focus on him; focus on Currey.

Everyone here understands how you feel about Currey and are behind you 100%. Consider this a virtual group hug from all of us.

[Lynn in TN]

Thanks so much for the news. I understand how confusing it is dealing with the different doctors and their differing ways of approaching Currey's illness. It has been my experience (with human doctors, particularly) that the more specialized doctors tend to be more "coldly clinical" - an irritating trait when you're facing emotionally charged choices and decisions. I'm sure the new doctor cares about Currey but he probably has insulated himself from getting too attached to his patients. Try not to focus on him; focus on Currey.

Everyone here understands how you feel about Currey and are behind you 100%. Consider this a virtual group hug from all of us.

From me as well.

[pkcrossley]

you are doing brilliantly. i really regret that on top of all the heartache and unavoidable confusion you now have to deal with doctor politics and two contrasting opinions! it sounds like currey is being exceptionally brave, and very clear about how much he wants to put himself into this. i would guess you are already entering into that special zone with him.

dr. cold doesn't sound like any fun to deal with but at least you know that he is always giving you the very worst interpretation --there is value in that. i have dealt with a few of these pessimists and while they have their role they can also become a bit overwhelming to deal with if you don't keep working to get a more rounded perspective. some critical care vets, like critical care doctors, seem to actually be emotionally overwhelmed by dealing with the sickest patients, and go off the deep end with pessimism to protect themselves from disappointment. it is very understandable, and not completely ill advised. but their attitude can sometimes create a bit of a distortion field. when it comes to relationships between people and their pets, clinical figures and exactly how many days or months or years are not all that counts. despite all that he is dealing with now (and poopy butt is pretty par for the course for chemo), he is clearly making a good quality of life for himself even right now. if you can get him home again and feeling well, it will be a dream come true for him. he is clearly willing to work very hard for it.

[utgaard]

One of the things I did when my partner went through chemo was to keep a notebook by me. At the appointments I made notes on everything - the pills, the order the drugs were administered, the start/stop times, the white count, the nurse's name; then at home it was where I put the questions I wanted to ask at the next appointment. I'm sure the doctors and nurses hated it when I pulled out that book and started in with the questions, but it helped me focus and I knew that the steps we were taking were the right steps. Having all your questions in writing may help you with Dr. Coldly Clinical.

I'll give my Loki and Zeus an extra hug and belly rub tonight and tell them it is because your Currey can't be there with you.

[tlwtheq]

i have dealt with a few of these pessimists and while they have their role they can also become a bit overwhelming to deal with if you don't keep working to get a more rounded perspective. some critical care vets, like critical care doctors, seem to actually be emotionally overwhelmed by dealing with the sickest patients, and go off the deep end with pessimism to protect themselves from disappointment.

Yep. In 1999, (this is old news for people who know me), I was getting a hard press from a vet to

put my Shadow to sleep...apparently she thought he had a pancreatic tumor. Ultrasound showed

that to be untrue, and further blood tests revealed he was diabetic. After I switched vets

and Shadow's insulin was regulated he lived almost three more years.

Asking questions from medical people is a good idea whether it's about our non-human companions

who are the patients or if it's we humans as well. To me...they're (medical personnel) frequently "distracted drivers".

(Just my opinion...maybe my health care plan sucks....)

[Rohnda]

Good evening Currey and family- It was good to hear from you and know that all is going as scheduled. Currey is being a brave patient and doing so well. Keeping you all in my thoughts and hoping Currey will be home by next week for some TLC on the couch with you guys. We are joining in on the above group hug!!

[BetsyNoodle]

Jodi and Andy,

Thanks so much for the update on Currey's progress. I am so happy he has been up and around, and is getting to spend some time just soaking up the love you have for him. Hopefully, his appetite will increase and the diarrhea will lessen very soon. He clearly still has that amazing Cairn drive, and wants to get stronger so he can go home.

I always cringe when I hear of a physician or vet who is cold and clinical. I believe the bond one forms with one's vet can be a source of strength and comfort during a difficult journey. Hopefully, this vet will warm up over time as he gets to know you and Currey better.

We will continue to pray and send positive thoughts and many hugs Curry's way. If he only knew how many people are pulling for him!

Melissa and George

[josie&holly]

I find I am now coming onto this Forum to find out how Currey is doing frequently so glad to find a report from you. He is obvioisly still fighting and showing that he wants to still be around. I imagine the cold vet is like that to stop him getting to emotionally involved with the animals he treats as that could be very difficult for him and I am sure he will do the best for your boy.

I hope the treatment continue to give hope and remission.

Thinking about you all......................

[cairnsby3]

One of the best vets I went to was cold, he turned out to be very knowledgeable and helpful, he just wasn't a people person, no bedside manner. I hope that's true in your case too.

[kjwarnold]

Still watching for your posts and glad you're keeping us updated. Hugs and some licks from Packy & Kirby...

[Meggie]

One of the best vets I went to was cold, he turned out to be very knowledgeable and helpful, he just wasn't a people person, no bedside manner. I hope that's true in your case too.

I've had the same experience.

There are 4 vets at the Animal Hospital we use. The least personable (even to the degree of being an oddball) is by the far the most committed.

When our Ragdoll, Salem had surgery for cancer and was on chemo he wasn't doing so well and in ICU, the vet took him home with him to monitor him overnight. As well, when we decided Salem wasn't going to recover (if he did, he had a few months before it came back and Salem, nicknamed Pillow due to his mellow nature was MISERABLE, hiding, crying constantly, and in extreme discomfort) we couldn't put him through it anymore and showed it us it was time, we had to schedule an appointment when that vet wasn't in the office to put him down, because when we mentioned the idea the day before he was devastated and begged us to let him give it one more go.

We had to put Salem down behind the back of the same guy who was so so very rough around the edges. So all this to say...

Some vets have seen it all and worked so hard for so many years they are more connected to the animals than the human's who own them.

Jodi- I hope this clinical fellow proves to you and Currey he is a more than capable doctor and the previous woman on the case can supplement his bedside manner shortcomings for you.

[jodi0553]

Well, for the weekend, Currey gets cared for by the docs of the emergency vet clinic. These are the folks who take care of him at night as well, and the two docs on his case this weekend have cared for him in the overnight earlier this week. One just met him on Tuesday, once he was in pretty bad shape, and the other was our admitting vet on Saturday who made the initial diagnosis of protein losing disease. We were hoping for a smooth ride since his regular docs aren't around to troubleshoot, but that isn't the way it is going. They ran a repeat blood test this morning and we have good news that the markers of the cancer are on the upswing - both increased proteins and decreased liver enzymes - but platelets and red blood count are really bad. The red blood cell count has dipped low enough that he is getting a transfusion now . They say it could be a secondary issue, an issue where he is losing blood through the GI tract because of the disease, or early signs that the chemo is adversely affecting the bone marrow. The most likely case is the GI tract, but it is concerning that it is happening. The little guy is pretty lethargic especially compared to how good he was looking last night. We took him out to enjoy some sun today and he really was excited to be outside for a while in the daylight, but then he got up and asked to go back to his "hospital bed". Little sweetie got up, went to the door and walked me right to his kennel. It was like he was saying, "okay, naptime for me". I'm worried sick again, I just was feeling pretty darn good after how great he looked last night. We're going back this evening but won't know if the transfusion has a positive therapeutic effect till tomorrow morning. I just keep hoping and praying that these setbacks are all the disease and that he can hang in there till the chemo can have a chance to help.

[Meggie]

Ugh...it must be torture for you guys and Currey too.

Hoping it's just a case of something getting worse before it gets better and he's his perky self again tomorrow <3