My "People" Pet Peeves...

[Lisad]

I know we've touched on this topic before but I've just gotta know if I'm the only one who is experiencing the "know-it-all" opinions from other people. I've got about three individuals in my life who seem to think I want (or need) their training advice when it comes to my pup. One person has a perfect little lap dog the other person thinks training begins and ends with constant YELLING and the third person doesn't even own a dog. But they watch a little Cesar Millan and all of a sudden they, themselves, become Dog Whisperers. My pup isn't even a year old yet. He is still young. So he has an irritating bark when he is trying to get other dogs to play with him, I'm trying to get him to tone it down. And "NO" I am not going to allow him off leash near a road and "YES" it's because he won't listen to my pleas for his return when he's chasing a cat across the road. Yes, I spoil him (he gets long walks, he sleeps on the bed, he eats "expensive" dog food) but because of those long walks he doesn't chew my furniture or carpets, he only gets up on the bed when I allow him to and my pup's food keeps him from his itchy allergies. I just love how everybody is an expert...especially those who have never experienced a terrier which is completely different than any other breed. Have any of you had such experiences? Most of the time I just blow these things off but it drives me crazy when people who have virtually NO experience and have NO IDEA of how hard I'm trying continue to "offer suggestions". You can imagine what I want to say to them after a while! (Thanks to this forum. I can vent.)

[toomanypaws]

I think this is the same as the "know it alls", when it comes to raising children. I too have experienced those who think they should write the next book on dog obedience. My BIL, who only allowed his beagle in the utility room or yard always has a comment or two about my pups. I once had to stay w/ him and my sister because my dd was in her cousin's wedding. I had to bring my lab and youngest cairn. I'll never forget how he expected my lab to stay put on a towel he put down and not move. I kept my cairn tightly in my lap during my stay. People who haven't had a terrier in their life need to keep quiet. We are a special chosen group who choose to open our life and hearts to this very lively, mechanical breed. Just come here to let off steam and ignore those who don't have a clue to what they're talking about. As for the irritating bark, I have an almost 5 yr old who is a total pest in the yard. I've never seen a dog fetch a toy so fast and have it back at your feet barking for the next toss. Not everyone's up to having a cairn in their life, but I have three and wouldn't change it for a minute.

[SARpartner]

Don't feel alone, I think we all get "helpful" hints on how a dog should be handled by people who have no experience or real knowledge. I actually think it's sort of funny because I'm a certified handler/trainer. I just smile and say "that's nice".....I just won't tell you what I'm actually saying in my mind.

I consider the source and then do what the individual dog's personality calls for.

[tena]

It's odd that everybody is an expert on your dog. I watch the show sometimes and use that "suuuusch" noise.

I find it helps some on controling the ear piercing out of control yip that erupts when Sophie wants to meet another dog and can't. I make the sound, she stops and looks at me, we walk a bit more, repeat. It doesn't stop it completely, but works better than anything else I tried.

Everybody has an opinon on Sophie and how to care for her. In my social circle I am 'the cat lady' so the dog owners seem to monitor my relationship with Sophie closesly. When she first came I knew very, very little about her breed and even less about rehabbing a former breeding mill dog.

I began her rehab using feral cat socialization techniques. I figured different species yet same end result, scared. So I trusted my experience there. It seemed to work to begin building trust and regaining her health.

I then began socializing her to the outside world, still following the feral cat model.

Once her breed was identified I found this forum. Reading it taught me about the noises Cairn's make, the legendary stubborness, the pure fiesty attitude and the need to dart after something and be gone for days. It also taught me how to have control of her, and how to guide her independence.

I still get flack from people. I'm too tough, too soft, too spoiling, too ignoring, too something.

One friend of mine calls me over protective because I won't bring Sophie over to play with her dog, Ella. She is a wonderful young teenager, but my friend has no control, and Ella is a pit breed so I'm not taking Sophie over there. I know my dog.

I've been called foolish because I spent an enormous quanity of time helping my 2 adult cats and Sophie find a common ground. I didn't let them fight it out, I managed the situation until all were comfortable. Sophie understands she may be the princess but the cats rule, particularly the small, and docile female.

I am under siege currently over trying to get her comfortable with the car. After her first few weeks with us, she developed seperation anxiety while in the car. So I parked her for the winter. Last week I started with short jots to the store 2 blocks from my house. And once again the advice flows from people who do not take their animals anywhere.

In some ways caring for your animals is based on indepth knowledge of that animal. I know my cats, and Sophie, know their personalities, their quirks, their strengths. I just wish the 'dog people' would invest 1/2 their time in their own as I do in mine.

[brin145]

I understand where you are coming from Just this weekend, my sister-in-law and her family came for a visit. They brought their dog. Now this person is one who always has plenty to "coach" you about in dog rearing, baby rearing, etc. Crunch was out back in the fenced back yard with our other dog, puppy Gus was in my bedroom in a crate. As soon as they enter, they say, we are just going to put our dog with yours in the yard. I am thinking, wait a minute, I don't know about that. I have only been around their dog one time when it was a puppy. I said that it wasn't a good idea. Well, before I can stop them, they have led the dog outside, let it off leash....Crunch is in attack mode (it seemed to me- not playing). by the way, their dog is 2-3 times larger than Crunch. They immediately separate the dogs and bring theirs in our house. And they seem shocked that the reaction occured. I say, "It is Crunch's backyard and you guys are strangers that just walked back there...." So I guess what I'm saying is even the people with experience think they know best.

[CarCarDawn]

Hi! I, too, have had "people with good intentions" try to tell me how to teach my dog and train him to be a better, more obedient little guy. Bottom line is this: I love the free- spirited, independent, playful, feisty individual little dog that he is and I wouldn't change him for the world - - it's part of being a Cairn owner!! I just take their suggestions - - - thank them for their concern - - - and do what I have always done - - - love Riley for the dog that he is!!!

[binkyrab]

Hmmm! I agree with SARpartner I think best way to deal with this is to thank them for the advice but carry on how YOU think is best and maybe mutter under you breath. Cairn's are so unique in caracter I dont think any one can advise you unless they have a cairn or a Terrier

Thank god for this site

Binky

[wags]

I have a horrible memory from a couple of years ago. Wes was a baby and eating everything in sight. I couldn't put him under the bench near all that foliage,

so I held him on my lap.

An old goat came out of the library, looked at us and then said, "Wutta spoilt brat! I betcha hill protek ya..."

I was taken aback. The woman beside me said, "Just ignore him. It's none of his business."

[Anna_525]

We have those, too, in our family! One's my husband's aunt who used to have a miniature schnauzer. She thinks her dog training techniques are full-proof. I'm not the real 'victim' though. She gives plenty of unsolicited advice to her own daughter-in-law who has a border collie who's afraid of children. She does have good intentions, but when she gives advice, she won't stop until everyone agrees with her.