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A Letter to My Pets


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Good Morning to All,

A dear friend sent this to me this morning. It was the first thing I read and it put a smile on my face, here's hoping it does the same for you.

A Letter to My Pets

When I say to move, it means to go someplace else, not to switch positions

with each other so there are still two of you in my way.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. All other

dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note that placing your paw print in

the middle of MY plate and food does not stake a claim making it YOUR plate and


The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to

the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help in your quest to reach

the bottom first, because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about

this. Do not think that I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your


Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not

necessary to sleep perpendicular to one another, stretched out to the fullest

extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues

hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some

miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary

to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge of

the door and try to pull it open. I must exit through the same door I entered.


Also, I have been using the bathroom by myself for quite some time -- canine

or feline attendance is not mandatory.

I can't stress this one enough -- kiss me, THEN go smell the other

dog's/cat's behind.

To pacify you, my dear companions, I have posted the following notice on our

front door:

Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and then Complain About Our Pets ---

1. The pets live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.

That's why it's call "fur"niture.)

3. To you, our pets are just animals. To us, they are an adopted son/daughter

who happens to be hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

4. Dogs and cats are better than kids because:

---- they don't ask for money all the time

---- they are easier to train

---- they usually come when called

---- they don't hang out with drug-using friends

---- they don't need a gazillion dollars for a college

education, and

---- if they get pregnant, you can sell the children!

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Hey! This is on page 92 in the Just Terriers magazine featureing Cairns!

Proud Mama of Zephyr and Cleo--adopted into the family Feb. 2005 from the local SPCA.


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Dear ZephyrandCleosMom,

My friend forwarded this to me as part of a mass email. The email never did state where it originated. Thanks for letting me know where it originated. I would love to know who wrote it?

Thanks again,


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