Missing My Divot

[tomatosandwich]

We made the painful decision to euthanize Divot on Wednesday night after 30 hours of hospitalization and treatment were not helping. 

My heart is terribly broken. 

A few weeks ago, Divot wasn’t well. He was having multiple accidents a day in the house and drinking and begging for food constantly. We suspected diabetes and went to the vet. Tests ruled out diabetes but showed blood in urine and elevated liver enzymes. Hopeful, we put him on antibiotics and liver supplements. 

After the antibiotics he felt better, and he was having fewer accidents. But his hunger became bizarre. He was doing things he never did like eat the corners off of couch pillows and chew clothes if he got into my girls’ room. So he was scheduled for Cushing’s testing. The vet wanted to wait before testing levels again—to give meds and supplements time to register.

Unfortunately, on Tuesday morning, he got a stadium bag off the dining table when I was out for a couple of hours. He chewed up the clear bag and the baggies of ibuprofen inside. I took him to the hospital as soon as I found him, alert but not himself. 

The initial tests showed his liver problems, but we were hopeful. We admitted him for what we thought would be 48-72 hours of IV fluids, charcoal, and additional tests to get more info on what was causing his strange behaviors. 

30 hours in and his liver and kidneys were failing. Even with supportive care they could not stop him from deteriorating. 

I held him in my arms while he died. 

My heart is broken. I feel tremendous guilt for forgetting my bag on the table, for forgetting I had ibuprofen in there, for not insisting the vet do more when I first brought him in weeks ago saying something was very off. 

He was an amazing dog!  So smart and charming. We never had to pay a doggy sitter, for we always had a line of volunteers to keep him while we vacationed. 

I miss his sitting in the front window wagging as I enter the house. I miss his snuggling up and down my side in bed as he would settle in. I miss the little click of his paws on the wood floors as he follows me from room to room.  I miss him completely. 

My only relief is knowing that he is no longer suffering from whatever sent him spiraling in the first place. 

[Sam I Am]

I am so sorry...please don’t feel guilty. You are a loving and caring owner which is so obvious from past posts and this new one.  Organ failure is something you have no control of..once the liver and kidneys start failing pretty much in all living creatures, not much can be done except what you did...being with him till the end. He saw you holding him and that’s all he needed to let go, to end his suffering. 

[Ripper70]

My heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your precious Divot. Over the past few months since joining this forum I've read many of the In Memoriam posts and every time I do, I weep for the loving folks that share their grief and tell their stories. I have bonded with our little Max and Chloe so much in these few short weeks since we rescued them in July, that when I imagine not having them, it hurts me to no end.

Your grief is a testament to Divot and how much he was loved. He was a lucky little soul and his spirit will always be with you. 

 

 

[pkcrossley]

I so sympathize with you, and I am so sorry to hear about Divot. my Redmon died after a very long and complex illness that had its ups and downs, and I wasn't with him when he happened to die in the hospital, I will never forgive myself for that. and my Teddy died suddenly from no cause that anybody could find. As the human in the relationship you feel you are responsible, that you must keep them safe. things happen that nobody can change, no matter how much they want to. It doesn't always help when people say, don't blame yourself, because as logical as it is it will never feel right. But we don't know everything, and even if we did, we would not be able to control everything. We all know how much you loved Divot, and that you would always do everything you can to protect him. We know you see him everywhere, want to give him his dinner and take him for his walk. He knows it too. He had a great life and a great mommy, and it is the special gift of dogs to be ecstatic and grateful for every good thing they have. I hope you can pass your love for Divot on to another deserving dog, that will be Divot too. Good boy, Divot, we all knew you and loved you.

[sanford]

The picture of Divot says it all... So sweet and adorable. I am so sorry for the grief and the ache of your loss - and yet you were blessed to have shared your life with such a treasure. My heartfelt condolences to you at this sad time.

Edited December 15, 2019 by sanford

[bradl]

We ache for you and with you. Dogspeed Divot … you left many wonderful memories to outlast and outshine this difficult time.

[Dempsy's Mom]

So sorry to hear of Divot.  What a beautiful boy.  It is a heartache like no other I know.  On December 2 I also had to make this decision with little Elsie.  Elsie had Congestive Heart Failure and she was filling up with fluid.  She wasn't going to get better and she looked miserable.  So..... with a heavy heart we said good-bye.  I too held her in my arms and her weight fell on me as she released this life and my heart broke into pieces and I cried like a child and Elsie rode home in my lap and I wrapped her in her blankey and I gently laid her next to Dempsy and I closed the earth and I think of her every day and I will love her always and I will miss her always and I will be happy that Els gave me 10 great years.  .... so sorry about Divot.  God bless. 

So now I don't have a farm manager or a nurse.  And I am left with these two little knotheads that don't hold a candle to Dempsy or Elsie ... but are trying their hardest and they have succeeded in warming my heart, but it is a different warmth.  This is Meeko (9) and Max (10)  It's hard to find good farm help and just like the rest of the crew they say, "Wake me up when the work in done."  

[Dempsy's Mom]

https://youtu.be/hjitkLLy9sc

 

This was one of Elsie's last combine rides.  Trying to teach Meeko how to look for bunnies and coon.  Meeko  needed more sessions. 

[sanford]

Dear Dempsy's Mom,

I can never read Cairn Talk without thinking of you and your wonderful stories of life on the farm with Dempsy and Elsie. Their loss is a loss for us all. For years, your stories warmed our hearts. We are all poorer without them. I know Meeko and Max will find and fill the empty space in your generous heart. The best I can offer is that you find comfort and solace in their presence.

[Sam I Am]

Oh Lori I so also miss you, the farm stories, Dempsey and now Elsi.  Like Divot both your dogs were loved dearly and had a wonderful life. It’s part and parcel of loving our animals, but it never gets easier...ever. I still weep when I think of dogs and horses from the past. They all take a chunk out of your heart.

Please  don’t be a stranger to the forum..Yorkies are terriers also and kind of look like miniature Cairns. 

My heart goes to all who lose their beloved dogs.

[Islander]

Close to tears thinking about all the precious pups no longer with us.
I will hold my Gus a little tighter tonight. 

[Dempsy's Mom]

You folks were so helpful to me when I first entered the cairn world.  We had alot of fun with Dempsy and the farm.  Brad was very tolerant of me when sometimes I would sneak in stories that maybe were not totally about cairns. Thank you Brad.  Yes, my heart goes out to all of you when you lose your best pal but that doesn't close our hearts.  Elsie was so nice to these two little old men I brought home, she was a little put out, but she tolerated well.  It was fun to see how they looked up to Elsie.  They knew that she was a farm gal that knew alot and they always watched her and followed. 

We just finished corn harvest today ... it was a long miserable harvest. 

 

[pkcrossley]

it hurts to hear that you lost elsie. you were such a gift to her and she was such a remarkable character. you will bring out the best in bobsey twins Meeko and Max. we'd love to hear about their adventures. terriers are terriers. thinking of you all. 

[Hillscreek]

How our heart aches when we lose our dogs. Terrible.  But what the years have given in love and loyalty fun and adventures will never go away.

 

[Pepper Bug's Mom]

Oh noooo….I am so sorry about Divot...  We had a lab that had cushings and ended up eating a bottle of ibuprofen out of my husband's coat jacket while we were gone.  The vet said that "this dog should be dead", but he managed to survive to live a long life.  I am glad that you held him in your arms as he passed...

Also, poor little Elsie - this is such a sad day for us Cairn and terrier lovers...

 

[Kathryn]

Just slowing down from a hectic art sale month, checking in and up on friends -- and I find this. So much sadness - Divot and little Elsie both gone. That's not how I want this season to go...and I share your sense of loss. My heart goes out to you both. Cairns and maybe-cairns are great companions, and they leave big holes in our lives when gone. Divot's mom and Lori  - please check in here to get an occasional puppy fix. Nothing, though, will replace those great dogs. Godspeed, Divot and Elsie...

[pkcrossley]

"And I am left with these two little knotheads that don't hold a candle to Dempsy or Elsie ... but are trying their hardest and they have succeeded in warming my heart, but it is a different warmth. "

yeah, I think Meeko and Max are on a strange trip (wild rice) of their own. the wheel picture says a lot. but they are bigger than they look. 

[hheldorfer]

I apologize for not responding earlier.  Life has been more 'downs' than 'ups' around here lately and I've been distracted by other matters.

I wept when I read of both Divot's and Elsie's passing.  They were both loyal, beautiful companions and I know they will be deeply missed.  So very sad to see so many of our Cairns growing old and leaving us.

 

[remltr]

Redmond, Teddy, Buffy, Dempsy, Elsie, Divot and so many more...angels all.

[pkcrossley]

yes they are. we will see them again. 

[tlwtheq]

Yes indeed they are, and we will be with them.

[Eliz222]

I'm so sorry to hear about all the recent Cairn passings. They sure take a piece of our heart with them, don't they? It's raining and thundering today and my first thought was about Finch. She was scared to death of thunder. I bet she's in heaven looking down at all of us thinking "I got this now, I got this".