Carolina

[Carolinasmom]

I don't recognize many names here since I haven't been active for a long time. After our 2 children came home life has been busy. Carolina was diagnosed with cushings several years ago and her liver numbers have been sky high since then. She had been on liver support meds and doing well. This past summer she started slowing way down. She didn't want to walk very far, unusual for her but I figured it was just because she was getting old, 13 years.

Two weeks ago today I took her to the vet because she was throwing up and for the past couple of weeks had been drinking a LOT of water, even more than her usual which was a lot due to the cushings. The vet kept her for the day to give her some fluids and do some tests. He called that afternoon and said she had diabetes! He recommended Urgent Care for the weekend. I visited her there both Sat. and Sun. and was finally able to get her to eat. I picked her up Monday morning and took her to our vet where she stayed for the day again. I learned how to give insulin shots and she came home that night.

Last Thurs. she started vomiting again so back to the vet we went on Friday. After a blood test, her kidney numbers were really high, (they had been since this started) and the vet said there really wasn't much else to do. I brought her home, loved her and took lots of pictures. She had also quit eating again. I found a vet that does in-home euthanasia and made an appointment for the next day, Sat. It was a rough night. Carolina kept wanting out, (she had pretty much quit drinking water too) and would just wander around so I had to bring her back in.

Saturday morning she spent a lot of time outside, doing unusual things like digging in the garden and climbing into a boxed-in area under one of our pine trees..weird. At one point she sat facing the rising sun, just enjoying it. Poor baby, she just did not feel good at all. It was definitely time. The vet was amazing. I am glad that DH's mom picked the kids up, (ages 6 and 3) and took them to her house because I was a mess. Carolina crossed the Rainbow Bridge around 11:45. I miss my black, furry floor sweeper and walking partner.

Carolina 1/21/98-11/5/11

[bradl]

A beautiful picture of a beautiful soul. Bless you for loving her for so many years, for taking care of her in health and sickness, and seeing her off with tenderness.

[pindrop]

There is nothing one can say at a time like this. You have been a wonderful Mom and given her 13 wonderful years. The last act of kindness is in letting them go peacefully - in your arms. My heart grieves for you at this time knowing how difficult it is. Hugs coming your way.

[Carolinasmom]

The last act of kindness is in letting them go peacefully - in your arms.

It was the hardest thing I have ever done but the best way for sure. My parents have a litter mate to ours and my mom said when it's their dog's time, she will call this same vet, (my parents were here before the procedure but left when it was time. My dad had just been released from the hosp. following surgery and wanted to see Carolina for the last time so they stopped by.)

[Idaho Cairns]

Beautiful picture of your "Old Soul" Carolina, these old Cairns are so distinctive in their way. You know it is so hard to make the decision about when is the "right" time to act in the dog's behalf. I watched our old girl disintegrate with Cushings and other age related illness a while back and these little dogs just fight so hard to stay in the battle, even when they are obviously losing to forces they can't overcome, they never seem to just give up. I think the clues are what you saw, the restlessness--probably caused by severe pain, the refusal to eat or drink, etc all build up to tell us, "That's enough!" , and then we do the right thing.

It was good that she could go at home, that is the place for a good dog to pass--in a place she knew and loved with people she knew and loved--Carolina, if she could ask, would never want for more than that in the end.

I know your heart is broken and your days are dull with grief, I know you wish you had another month, day, week, or even a minute more with Carolina and I wish I could make it easier for you--but, I cannot. I can and will wish you peace, the pain will dull but never cease, the thoughts of Carolina will be fewer but never gone, but I think you will come to understand that is good thing ultimately--it is the pain that results from sharing a life with a precious pet--it is one of the most dear expenses we pay for loving our dogs and well worth the agony.

I truly believe Carolina is waiting for you --sitting patiently with her beautiful face to the sun, knowing you are on your way to her. She is safe, happy, and healthy now--a good dog, as always.

Take care. Chuck

[TazTalk]

My deepest sympathies - such a difficult, emotional thing to have to do. The in-home vet is a very compassionate approach. Much better for both you and Carolina. Our Gypsy is getting close and we have the # for a vet that will do the same.

You will miss your black, furry floor sweeper terribly I'm sure -- cherish all the wonderful memories from the 13 wonderful years you had with her. I'm sending a big hug your way.

Adrienne

[Rileymom27]

These little guys can leave such imprints on our hearts - - I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Carolina. May you find solace in the wonderful memories you have of her - - - God bless!

[jo_]

"Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality." ~ Emily Dickinson

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I always find music to be very therapeutic. Have a listen...Johnny Reid wrote this song about the loss of his dog. Very fitting for the loss of any loved one...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mt4ZcsBfaNU&feature=related

[Hawkeye]

I am so sorry for your loss. Carolina was a beautiful girl and gave you many years of pleasure...hang onto those wonderful memories. She will always be with you in your heart. I know how difficult this is for you...God bless.

[Tuesday]

I am very sorry for your loss. Carolina was a beautiful Cairn.

[beccadiane374]

So, so sorry to hear of your loss...your heartache is heard in every word...may time bring you peace and may your memories bring you comfort.

[BetsyNoodle]

I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful, beloved Carolina. I know the pain of loss is so intense right now, and seems it will never end. But, as time passes you will be able to remember your sweet girl with more smiles than tears. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Many hugs,

Melissa

[tlwtheq]

Welcome to the forum. Your loss is understood here like nowhere else, I think.

God bless you and your family, and beautiful memories of Carolina.

[Carolinasmom]

Thank you everyone! I just got a call from the vet who put her down that her ashes are being sent to us today. Kind or ironic that they are being sent exactally a week after her passing.

[BetsyNoodle]

In my experience, it is a second blow to the heart when we receive the ashes of our little ones. But, it is also comforting to know they are 'home.' Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers as you miss your sweet girl.

[hheldorfer]

Rest in peace, Carolina. The memory of your love and companionship will live on.

[Sam I Am]

Having an aging Cairn also, who is exactly the same color as Carolina strikes me right to the heart. There is nothing one can do except cry, sit back and know that you have done all you could to give Carolina the best life that she could possibly have. And the ashes... well when we had to do the deed with our Scottie, Sandie, we were initially going to bury her in the garden. It was winter and as crazy as it sounds I could not bare the thought of her being out in the cold. She is on our mantel above the fireplace, her collar, ashes and a picture of her are there. It gives me incredible peace of mind that although she is not in this physical world anymore, I know that a part of her is still with us. I hope in time you will feel that way also.

[Idaho Cairns]

Marsha, we also keep the ashes of our precious departed pets close and I find it very comforting to have access. Many times as I am falling asleep, thoughts of Toots, Ginger, or Shadow come flooding into my mind, thinking about what good dogs they were and how much I wish I could enjoy a few more moments with them--with their ashes close, I can reach up and touch those small urns holding their remains and it does comfort me. We have attached each dog's collars to the urns, with all the "jinglies" , the tags, and with a flick, I can hear those old familiar sounds the collars used to make and it quiets my soul and allows me to rest.

I think the knowledge that I still have part of these old wonderful friends near me all the time makes losing them a bit easier to bear but that is, of course, a personal decision we each have to make. I have thought of you often over the past couple of weeks and have hoped that your pain has eased a bit.

[Carolinasmom]

Thank you so much everyone. I miss her so much! When I opened up a Christmas box, (the first one), right on top was her stocking with her name on it. I just lost it. I don't look for her in her usual places as much anymore but every now and then I really miss her!

My mom, who has a litter mate to ours, tried contacting the breeder we got them from but the family can't be found, (well, their phone number goes to a bank...weird.). I'm not ready for another one just yet but maybe in the spring.

For now her ashes are on my nightstand, (had to be moved from our piano for Christmas decorations) along with her photos and a dried rose from the arrangement my parents brought over the morning she was put down. I will say our 15 year old cat is enjoying taking over our bed since Carolina isn't there anymore! He is driving me crazy all night. He never used to be a snuggler until now! Sheesh!

[Ivy & Lucy's Mom]

So sorry to hear of your loss-it's so difficult to handle let alone dealing with your small children. I have been there twice as well. God bless and take care.

[oscar's mom]

I've read this post many times, and have not been able to express the empathy I feel.

She was family and it's never easy to get over the loss of someone you loved so much for so long.

[Carolinasmom]

Tomorrow, Sat. Jan 21st Carolina would have been 14. My parents have a litter mate and every year my mom would have a "birthday dinner" and have us all over. We would have dinner and cake and the dogs would get my mom's homemade dog cookies. I can't believe how much I miss her. We had broccoli twice this week and it broke my heart to toss out the leftovers. Carolina loved cooked broccoli and would have finished it off.

Anyway, no birthday dinner tomorrow night. It's just too hard. Poor Lindy, (her sister) has no idea what has happened although I know she wonders where Carolina is every time we come over and she is no longer with us. They were raised together since I was teaching elem. school when I got her and I took her over to my parents' every day for doggy day care. Mom told how they would play fight in the house and my mom would scold them so they would both tear out the doggy door and continue outside clear around the house. My mom would open the window and yell at them and she said they were SO surprised that she could hear them all the way around the house!

Happy 14th birthday Carolina Boo. I miss you snuggling with me and smelling your Frito feet, (someone on here years ago mentioned the Frito feet!)

[pkcrossley]

it hurts to miss them, because on the surface it means they not here. but under that, the fact that you miss them so means they are still here. happy birthday carolina.