When do you know it is time?

[remltr]

When do you know it is time? This question has been asked by everyone at some point. I asked it years ago and I answered the question then and now I am asking again.

The symptoms:

16 years and 2 months old

Lethargic except when food is presented

Losing the ability to stand on hind legs (tile floors don't help)

Mostly blind and mostly deaf

Sleeps a great deal

Has to be picked up to come along. Treats sometimes will entice her to follow.

Sudden onset of wet stools (had an episode this morning on the bedroom carpet - about 10 spots) Have given spoonful of pumpkin

I know it is getting close, I just don't know if it is time

 

 

[Sam I Am]

Oh this is so difficult. All I can tell you is that as a beloved dog owner you will know. You will just know.

[bradl]

Oooh boy, I'm sorry it's getting this close. It's so hard.

We start asking ourself: are they still enjoying their few moments of activity such as they are? Or are their days mostly one slog from meal to meal. 

Food is always part of quality of life, so what role is it playing? Are they on autopilot with food or genuinely enjoying it as the highlight of their day? If they are still enthusiastic we tend to carry on. Refusing food is a clear signal, but some dogs will still reflexively wag  and grab a treat as long as they are capable of executing the movements; it's not clear to me they are actually enjoying it any more in any emotional way.

All our old ones became a bit of a housekeeping project, sanitation-wise. It always makes me smile a bit when there's a new puppy freaking out their owner with housebreaking woes and I think of how much I cared when they are pups and how little we care when they are old. I don't really hold incontinence against them in a quality of life assessment unless it is clearly an issue for *them.* It's an indicator for us, but so far has never been a decisive one.

Likewise mobility. The soft weight of their trust and need for us when we carry them to where they want to be is a treasure. If it's overcoming little obstacles, it's a pleasure. If it's really to simply exist in their space, it's concerning.

Even if blind, is there still some light in their eyes? With Haggis we decided when we realized he was standing (wobbling more like it) in the kitchen and as the saying goes, there was nobody home. That for us was our "you'll know" moment. 

It's always too damn soon. Really feeling for you and Sassy. Give her a wee scritch for me. I agree with Sam I Am, you will know when you are there; Sassy is with you no matter what.

[Hillscreek]

Such a very difficult time when our buddies are getting ready to leave us. Some of mine have clearly been sick and in pain with no cure possible. Sad though it was it was right to free them from their pain.

But with one little JRT it was very difficult. He could get about somewhat even though blind but gradually seemed to just lose the will to do anything. For the first time in his fourteen and a half years he carried his stumpy little tail low all the time. He lost his terrier self. His spirit was gone. He didn't "live" any more. He just existed. He couldn't enjoy anything even though he and I had been best buddies all his life. A moment came when I knew it was time to free him from his stiff old body. 

You will know the time as I think all of us do who have had the privilege of living with an old friend.  We think of you and Sassy both. 

 

[Kathryn]

I think of Sassy so fondly -- as a flirty, sassy dog -- that it surprised me to learn she is over 16.

We went through this decision in 2013, with our dog Allie.  She was 16 years, 2 months old -- just the same as Sassy.  And I understand, for a cairn, that is an admirable time on this earth.  You can be proud of that - as her person, you helped her get there.

Allie declined quite suddenly (or so it seemed to us) over just a couple months.  Into her 16th year, she was so lively, so athletic. I loved to watch her jump on the curb, or into her chair.  And then one day, a few months before her 16th birthday, she could not get into the chair any more. Then she started to limp, and it seemed she had a patella problem -- but she was too old for surgery.  We went out to Goodwill and bought every rubber-backed bathroom rug we could find (purple, pink, awful yellows, fish and ducks etc. etc.) and put them throughout the kitchen so she would be able to walk without slipping on the tile. Then she developed a "widow's hump" - don't know how else to describe it -- the vet did xrays, and she had severe kidney problems. Still we brought her home and started what we considered to be hospice. She became incontinent -- those awful rugs were washable though. And then one day I found her facing the kitchen wall, trembling. I spent the night on the kitchen floor with her.  She had some sort of seizure the next day, and it repeated again later. I spent an hour crying in the shower, and then talked to Steve. I knew I had waited too long for her, but it was not too long for me.  But the decision was finally made for both of us. 

What will happen, remltr, is between you and Sassy.  I think you need to consider both your feelings and hers.  Whatever time it is, it will be yours together.  And I think that is the right decision.  

My heart goes out to you. 

[pkcrossley]

many animals, but perhaps above all dogs, have a genius for appreciating life, despite hardships. when my dogs have been very old or very sick, they may still have the capacity to wake up each morning and say "go me!" they are not embarrassed by any kind of disability, or discouraged, and pain seems for them to be relative to this basic joy of being alive. i always think of what animals in the wild tell us about their values. when they are injured, in pain, or even seriously ill, they don't lay down and let the wolves eat them. they try to look strong, because looking strong might keep the predators away.

that said, all animals seem to have a natural understanding of the real end of life. there does come a time. to me the most obvious is: won't eat. not for a day or a few days. just won't eat for the better part of a week, and won't be tempted by soft, sloppy, yummy stuff. second way: won't bother to find loved ones. i've had and known dogs that were blind, deaf and unsteady of feet, yet every evening would find their way to room where they knew the family was gathered. if they don't (no matter how long it takes), that means something (although it could mean they like sleeping better than anything, and you have to be alive to sleep). third, the look. you know. in general i think people are ready to give up long before the animals are, and there can be some anthropomorphizing about "dignity" and pain. i have always preferred to let the animal choose, if we can listen well enough. 

[remltr]

Thank you everyone for your support. I have good news for the moment. I took Sassy to the vet yesterday morning without an appointment and was brought right in. Sassy has luxating patella in both rear legs. When I brought her in she had not done her morning business and seemed to have no interest in doing so. Limping and dragging her right rear leg. I wasn't sure if I was going home with her. Doc gave her Galliprant, first off because it does not effect the organs as it uses a different path doing its job. Secondly because it supposedly does the job. When we got home "together" I gave her her first dose. She did urinate shortly thereafter and then slept for most of the rest of the day. She did not urinate or defecate the rest of the day. That had me worried. I assumed she didn't do her business due to pain in trying to get into a squatting position. I left the doors open overnight so she could get outside during the night. And viola when I got up this morning she had defecated three times and I assume urinated as well. This morning she is up and walking, not dragging her leg or limping. That is with one dose of Galliprant. Second dose coming up. Hopefully that doesn't make her sleep all day again. I have to say that I am ecstatic.

[Hillscreek]

[bradl]

Galliprant. Amusing name, love that it helped so much!

[pkcrossley]

ouchy! i'm assuming surgery is not an option (or maybe it is), so i guess NSAIDs and rest are the recommended management?

[Catalyzt]

Some really great thoughts here.  I always went with some variant of this: << won't eat for the better part of a week >>

Or, alternatively:  You get to the baby bottle or spoon feeding phase, and three or four days go by, and it's getting harder.

Trouble drinking water.  That was when we knew it was Zip's last day-- I really didn't want him to be thirsty, but he got a nice little drink that afternoon, so it wound up being the next morning.  And we went hard-core: Staring right into each other's eyes up till the last moment.  That little Bichon had a lot of guts.

But what great news that Sassy got a reprieve!  I love that so much-- sometimes, you get a little spirit and a little luck, and a bit more time.  Go, girl!  Grab every minute!  

Edited April 18, 2021 by Catalyzt

[pkcrossley]

yes, Sassy's case one of many examples suggesting one should not get too morose too early. dogs will tolerate a lot of discomfort and inconvenience, happily. to survive. that's the greatest achievement they recognize. when it is time, they let you know. but projecting too much onto their circumstances might be a mistake.