Help

[tlwtheq]

Off topic.  Can someone please make sure my pups are cared for

when I check out?  Don't trust DH.

[tlwtheq]

Bye.

[SARpartner]

tlwtheq, I'm sure most of us have at one time or another felt we were married to a child.  I'm just a bit confused by the "Bye" comment.

[Hillscreek]

?

[Jack]

?...

[tlwtheq]

Incredible, empty, searing pain and sadness with no way out...

[Hillscreek]

What do you mean twltheq? Check out? Please go get help - please.

Edited January 10, 2013 by Hillscreek

[bradl]

There is hope, there is help, and there is always a way forward.  Just ask any Cairn.

[Idaho Cairns]

Tara, if you believe we can help, you need to talk to us.  I take these kind of messages seriously and nothing is more frightening than the wait.  Let us know what is going on--if you are reaching out, for goodness sakes, take a grab at the hands that are offered!  What can we do?  Please.

[tlwtheq]

Thank you Idaho...I need to get out of a double-triple-bind.  My job sucks (involves blowing people up), my marriage sucks....

I dunno.  This 57-year old cannot "get out" without suffering.  But I'm tired of suffering...been going on since 2000.

PM with comments please and thank you?

 

Just how severe this "blowing people up" thing got revealed to me in "training" this week.

My God!   How awful to be so casual about planning this stuff?

I spent all week with Subject Matter Experts showing us each part of the planning.

Can't do it...can't.

 

Joke is all on me; in spite of sponsoring DHs Network Engineering degree, ( he was selling

retail when I met him, and I sponsored him through the degree), no job has ever come of it.

(Translation: "not interested in looking,I'd rather be at home if you have a job").  My voice got hoarse a long time ago.

Finances have ramped up with a 65 mile commute, 54% increase in health care premiums,

drastic increase in property taxes, etc.

 

So, I'm "blowing people up" (literally), my DH long ago deigned to continue as a partner..., I, shall I say,

have become a person with no hope.  I don't want to blow people up...I don't care who they are.

And I said that, "This is it".

 

When I married Joseph Wilk, I was 44 and he was 38, I resolved (after having a previously unsuccessful marriage),

that this was "it".  Well, "it" isn't working.  Now what?  No career, no plan, no help.  (Oh my adoptive "family" is

and always has been worthless.  I just don't fit in.)  "Dig this Mom, I pulled myself up by my own bootstraps!"

(Sorry if the previous sentences make no sense...dunno how to explain constant rejection).

 

Oh....for all who are asking about the therapy thing.  Because of the stigma attached, all that does is

risk further employment.  Since DH is unwilling to think about money (except mine) or getting employment

where does that leave me?

 

I love everyone here on the forum so much.  Brad alluded in an earlier message that this isn't appropriate discussion

for Cairn Talk.  He's right.  Will accept PMs from any/everyone.  SARPartner, Islander, and someone

whose handle is not on the tip of my tongue sent me concerned messages.  I've been psychologically

inept until now...7 hours after I left my "training" and was able to make contact.

Still caught in a bind with no way out, your friend.

 

Don't know what's going to happen.

 

Tara Wilk

 

P.S. - Lori, can I sell everything and be one of your farm hands?  I'm not being sarcastic or droll!

I need simplicity.

 

Love you all.

Edited January 11, 2013 by tlwtheq

[Idaho Cairns]

You bet!

[kjwarnold]

Hang in there, the pups need you and you're a valued member of this little Cairn community!

[hheldorfer]

We need you and care about you.  It *will* get better. 

[dianer]

It can get better.  My life working for the government ended and when it did I felt lost, but a new life started and it is a better chapter by far.

[Ivy & Lucy's Mom]

Please know that life is truly a series of ups and downs-you are definitely at the lowest point. You must reach within yourself to find what can and will give you happiness or at least give you a sense of peace. Surround yourself with close friends and family-people who you can share your feelings with.  God bless and please know the cairn forum is on your side.

[josie&holly]

Thinking about you.

[tlwtheq]

This place is a beautiful, safe haven.  I really have no one outside of you wonderful people.

I'm trying to learn a new way of thinking.  In sum, we are after all alone in a sense.

But I'm feeling not quite so all alone with all of you here.

B'Shalom.

Rachel B'at Sarah V'Avraham

[Ivy & Lucy's Mom]

You seem to be in better spirits!!!!!Good to hear-things will get better........

[hheldorfer]

Our beloved Cairns bring us together and are the inspiration of this safe haven.  You are part of our family and we'll always be here for you.

[Hillscreek]

We are all alone in a certain way since no-one but ourselves can journey down our path. 

Walk along your path with strength and determination with your cairns by your side. You've got us and our cairns supporting you.

[Islander]

I've been glad to read your helpful posts over the past several days. Good to "see" you.

Hugs.

[TazTalk]

So glad to hear a current of hope in your words . I like to think in terms if chapters. Some chapters unfortunately are bad but there is always an opportunity that the next one will be better!

[tlwtheq]

You are all so wonderful.  I just don't know...