Redmon

[shergry]

(To start with...hugs)

And so agree with Idaho!  The only reason I say this is the fact that we went from 3 to 1 so fast...and thought...where do we go from here!  I am not sure how PK; you feel; with Teddy in his physical being as such.  He is SO very smart...and could possible deal with another dog.  Only you know what your house needs.  You are so very special that there is always someone (be it animal or person) that can learn from you and those that you taught...be it Redmon or Teddy or kitties...etc.

Redmon in his way prepared Teddy...Teddy now needs to remember how special his brother was and use it for how ever his "Mom" says is OK!!  And it looks like Teddy is saying YOU NEED ME AT YOUR FEET!!!  I AM HERE FOR YOU!!!

You have your english muffin and remember ALL those wonderful funny...thoughtful...learning (you, Redmon and Teddy) times you ALL had/going to have with Teddy!!  Sorry...quick thought...Teddy came into your house for a VERY special reason!!!  He IS there for YOU/just as YOU are there for HIM!!!

Post pictures!!  Teach us all your knowledge...I am so like a sponge to learn new things!!  Not all being for medical reasons....CAN always teach this OLD DOG a new trick or two!!!

May your days be getting brighter and brighter....looking into the light (with sunglasses ) and seeing happy days are ahead!!

[tlwtheq]

I am convinced that companion dogs grieve and mourn the loss of their partners--having had a two terrier household for many years we have witnessed how difficult it is for the surviving dog to come to grips with the loss of a playmate or, in at least two cases, a responsibility they have taken on to be the eyes and ears of an older companion who need those senses.

We have brought a new dog into our home as quickly as possible following a loss because of the need the surviving dog seems to have as well as for our own comfort in dealing with the grieving process. I also believe it makes the transitioning of the new dog, whether an adult rescue or a puppy, into the home easier as the surviving dog, as well as ourselves, are in such a dark place after a loss that the new addition is so welcomed. Since I also am convinced that surviving dogs pass traits learned from their experience with the lost companion to the new dog, bringing a new addition in insures a continuation of those traits in a new generation. Opening up our minds and hearts to a new dog seems to work out well here.

That's always worked well for us. The newest child always just blends into the routine, and the one left behind is comforted, as are we.

Edited January 3, 2013 by tlwtheq

[pkcrossley]

Thank you all. As you can imagine, I am inundated with suggestions from my local friends regarding poor souls now waiting in the local humane societies, and of course this is distressing as it is hard to bear of the thought of all the deserving little people who need help. At this moment my main concern is Teddy, whose situation is very complex. He is not only blind but has a few developmental issues. The two of us have not had any time alone, as Redmon's illness has dominated so much since Teddy came to the house. I want some time for Teddy to get acclimated to a new way of doing things, one in which he is more free to do as he pleases and explore more space, and I hope develop a few more skills. As Redmon knew, Teddy cannot deal with the normal rough and tumble of dog relationships, not only because he is blind (and very small) but because of his shunt --we have already done the emergency drive to Maine for midnight surgery after his first shunt gave out, and we hope to have no more of that. There are other complications; I cancelled a year and a half of professional travel so that Redmon would never be kennelled or alone at night, so there is a certain amount of catching up that must be done. And my very elderly parents are too old now to learn how to handle a young dog (other than Teddy, who is a perfect angel for them) when I travel; at present any new resident would be condemned to kennel stays, which is tolerable but not desirable. In addition, I recently lost a beloved aunt and inherited two of her cats (in addition to my own), so space is a bit tight.  

 

I do want to have another dog someday, and I hope very much for a cairn, but the steps must be slow  I don't want to do anything that will interfere with Teddy's development or make him anxious or heaven forbid unsafe. Perhaps one day a puppy who could be raised to respect Teddy, or another dog with unusual natural kindness and patience (doesn't sound like a cairn, but there could be one...). When the time is right, things will develop. At the moment I am awaiting the return of Redmon's ashes so of course I feel that things are very unreal and upended until that is settled. I appreciate everybody's very good suggestions, all of which I agree with.

Edited January 4, 2013 by pkcrossley

[tlwtheq]

Sorry, PK.  Forgot the entire content of the thread when I posted my response...it's 4 pages long now.  You're still doing the the right by all beings

who need it the most.  God bless.   TW

Edited January 4, 2013 by tlwtheq

[hheldorfer]

Teddy needs you now.  Taking care of him, introducing him to his new world and making sure he is secure is very important.  I imagine you and Teddy are reintroducing yourselves to each other these days.  It's a time of healing and everyone heals in his or her own way.  

 

I understand about waiting for the ashes.  It's a very unsettling time.

 

Just remember that you are beloved by all of us and we share in your grief as we have always shared in your love of Redmon and Teddy.  

[Malcolm's Dad]

The tears are flowing tonight. I am so sorry Redmon has passed on. This has to be a great sadness for you. Redmon was a special teacher about the Cairn Terrier. He taught you a lot. You taught me a lot about Cairns. Malcolm was a real problem when I got him from the shelter. His original owner gave up on him. You taught me so much about these dogs along with others on this forum. Thank you for the fantastic advice that was and still is so helpful.

I remember when you brought Teddy home and put bells on Redmon. It was like It's A Wonderful Life. Everytime a bell rings an angel gets its wings. Redmon handed out a lot of wings, bless him so much.

It is so painful to lose a family member or pet. The pain lessens over time but never goes away. There are times I'll look at the pictures of my last dog. The tears will come back for a bit. Right now the tears won't stop for Redmon or you so I'll say goodnight and hope things get better for you after a while. Bless you, the most helpful Cairn teacher in my life.

[pkcrossley]

today is best boy's birthday.

 

i knew when i took his picture a year ago that we would not share his birthday again.

 

he tried hard, he did well. there's a place for him in my life every day, but he's not there. 

 

i wrote a poem.

 

If you thought your dog would

live thirty years

would you throw his ball 

one more time

when he asks?

Would you have patience 

when he barks

for no reason you know?

Would you take him along

when it is not convenient?

Would you have a second thought

before moving him off your pillow?

Would your gaze linger on him

when he sleeps in the sun?

Would your fingers rest so gently

on the silky spot 

between his brows?

Would you wonder what it means

when he stares so 

long into your eyes? 

What would his life be like

if you thought your dog 

would live thirty years?

[shergry]

First of all.. Well said, my friend, well said!!  May you celebrate his birth like HE would have loved you and Teddy too!! 

[hheldorfer]

Beautiful, PK.  Happy birthday, Redmon.  You are missed and will never be forgotten.

[tlwtheq]

Wishing you peace on Redmon's birthday, PK.  Take care.

Edited October 19, 2013 by tlwtheq

[Hillscreek]

Dear Redmon.

[Sam I Am]

Redmon was such a lovely boy. What a wonderful poem PK! My heart aches along with you.

Yesterday when I was out in the field catching my mare, Hally, a beautiful red fox trotted past me and I couldn't help but notice his keen expression and pricked ears, and I thought if souls come back in another form, then this must truly be a Cairn....perhaps Jock or Redmon.

[Dempsy's Mom]

Great thoughts.  Actually, I think all those thoughts all the time with the animals, now I just need to fine tune those feelings towards humans. RIP Redmon.

[Islander]

Lovely poem. Thinking about Redmon and Jock today...and all the other dear ones.

[pkcrossley]

Thank you all. I know the best we can do for Jock and Redmon now is to take best care of the the little ones with us now, and those to come. 

[Idaho Cairns]

Yep, hard as it is to turn loose of the past and those that made it so beautiful, it IS the future that is important. 

[Sam I Am]

We all grieve in our own time, looking to the future but always remembering the past. It's wonderful memories that shape us and make us a better person. I know I will always remember Jock with much love. Rosie is the lucky girl as is Teddy and other dogs that have owners that have gleamed years of experience from loving animals passed.

[Autumn & Lola]

What a beautiful poem, PK. RIP sweet Redmon.

[Kathryn]

I think that, with the help of other dogs, friends, and time, the pain of loss fades and the sweetness of memory stays on.  Sweet Redmon was a really good dog...

[DawnandTuk-tuk]

Your poem is beautiful.  And so very true.  Thinking of you and Teddy.

[BetsyNoodle]

PK, Your poem was such a lovely, gentle expression of your love for your boy, Redmon.   My thoughts are with you and Teddy as you continue your journey. 

[Nancyj]

What a wonderful tribute to your beloved Redmond. My heart breaks for your pain and sorrow, I know the saying: "Don't cry because I'm gone, smile because I happened"

Every now and then I say, I miss Lindy so much and have my sad moments, then I add how I miss Carolina, Lindy's litter mate, and our daughter's sweet "daughter."  I believe it is perfectly okay to be sad, tearful and mourn for any amount of time. 

You did all you could for Redmond. He had a wonderful, loving family that shall forever miss him. Please know I understand.

Thanks for sharing.

 

Nancy

[tlwtheq]

I know the anniversary is coming up.  My heart is with you.

[pkcrossley]

thanks. every day is very hard just now. you have all been so great, really helps. 

[hheldorfer]

We know how you feel, PK.  Thoughts are with you.