Dealing with jealousy when bringing home a new baby

[2crazycairns]

Hey everyone! Happy Holidays! It has been what seems like forever since I was last sharing and enjoying this forum. I ended up getting a job and between that and TWO cairns, I've had zero time for the luxury of sitting at my computer for more than five minutes! We love having two but its definitely presenting its challenges.

The reason for getting dear little Gizmo was that Gus was suffering severe separation anxiety when we both left for work and he was home alone. He actually shredded our window blinds and the screen from that window trying to escape and go with us. We felt that a companion and play buddy would be just the trick. That's what we get for thinking! Gus is SUPER pissed and extremely jealous. I can understand this but we've had Gizmo for 6 months now and we had really hoped that time would help. It truly hasn't. Gus isn't attempting to behead him anymore but he won't play with him, chronically steals his toys right out of his mouth, pushes him off our laps and tackles and pins him.

We've tried hard to make sure that Gus has had extra attention, they get the same food, the same treats, etc. all this still hasn't helped. We're at a loss. If any of you have gone through this and have some tips/tricks I'd love to hear them! Gus is at least very protective of the little guy at the dog park so I think does realize he's part of our family and not going away. The folks at the park have dubbed he 'crankypants' which is a definite character change. On the up side....Gizmo has the personality of a clown. He is by far the sweetest, most loving little guy I've ever had the pleasure to call my own. He is extremely submissive to Gus which is good, but I hate to see him get picked on so. Fortunately he takes it in stride and is still very persistent in trying to win Gus over.

Anyway, as I said, tips and any guidance would be greatly appreciated. On a side note, we recently found out that poor lil Gizmo has Legg-Pheres disease. We are heartsick and would love to hear from others that have had pups with this condition and what your experiences were. We've not had our consultation with the surgeon yet ($2500 is a big barrier right now) but we do have the X-ray and diagnosis from our family vet.

Sorry this post is so long but what can I say...it's been a while and we've definitely got issues. Thanks in advance for any help.

[kjwarnold]

First off, do you use crates? Our boys love their crates and are happy to run into them when we leave the house. They are comforted by the familiar space, stay safe and our house stays safe. Not that I think they would get into trouble, but we're all happy with the arrangement. If you're concerned about being gone all day, maybe adding an x-pen around the crate might give them a little more room while still maintaining order.

Next, while Gus may see Gizmo as lower in the pecking order and boss him around, that could change as he gets older. Kirby was also submissive to Packy when we first got him. Now at 3 yrs. old, he's the alpha dog in our dog world (I'm alpha in the household!) and doesn't let Packy forget it. Lucky for him that Packy is so good-natured, because he'd got 5 lbs. on Kirby and could whip him anytime he wanted. I'd keep re-inforcing Gus' status (feed him first, put him on leash first, etc.) to show him he's not forgotten. We also take our dogs on individual activities, so they get their share of attention. My bet is that Gizmo wins Gus over eventually. They may not be best buddies, but they'll be brothers and act like brothers, playing, fighting and sticking up for each other.

Sorry to hear about Gizmo's health problem. No help from me on that, but good luck to you.

[Idaho Cairns]

"Gus is SUPER pissed and extremely jealous. I can understand this but we've had Gizmo for 6 months now and we had really hoped that time would help. It truly hasn't. Gus isn't attempting to behead him anymore but he won't play with him, chronically steals his toys right out of his mouth, pushes him off our laps and tackles and pins him."

That sounds like pretty normal Cairn dominance/play behavior to me. Probably the "pissed/jealous" human behaviors you are describing are really that domination coming out. If there is no viciousness--biting or injury, I would probably just sit back and let the dogs work out the relationship and develop their own roles in the house. Some Cairns play hard and fighting over balls, growling, body slamming, are all part of that play. So long as both dogs co-exist without the fur flying they should be ok and as time goes on each will find their level.

[Rita.roetker]

Thank you both SO much for your responses. I had truly hoped in my gut this was the case and we are doing most of what you've suggested. We have put the crates away (mostly because they take up so much room in an already small town home) but perhaps we should reconsider that. Gizmo has no problem with it but after being 'crate free' for over two yrs I'm a bit afraid that Gus would see it as punishment.

As for the rough play, that truly is how Gus plays because he was always playing with bigger dogs at the park as a pup. Giz is VERY social with all the dogs at the park, but Gus is just so forceful and gruff that Giz tucks tails and runs for cover (usually my legs). I probably am just more protective of him because of his hip issues. Gus can hurt him badly without meaning to and that can keep Giz from wanting to play. Every time he runs to play, either by himself or with other dogs, Gus takes off and rolls him. I'm sure it will get better with time and they do act like brothers most of the time. You are right.....we take extra care to give Gus special attention, alone time with each of us, and assure him he's top dog.

It sounds as though we're doing the right things.....and that's reassuring. Thank you again...you guys are always so much help and it's truly appreciated. I'll post pics soon.

Merry Christmas to all!

Rita