The Purina Diet @ Costco

[pindrop]

I've heard this two or three times and it seems to float around on the net but thought it was cute and wanted to share for those that may not have heard it.

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of

Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Molson, the Wonder Dog

and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant?

So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no,

I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again... I added that I

probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that

I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with

tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that

it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply

eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally

complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now

enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because

the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's a**

and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart

attack he was laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore..

Better watch what you ask retired people.

They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.