Puppy Guilt--Anyone Else?

[tomatosandwich]

I hope I word this carefully enough as not to offend anyone. It's really weighing heavily on me, though, so I'd love some thoughts.

I'm feeling a bit guilty about going and paying for a puppy from a breeder, instead of rescuing a dog from a shelter.

That being said, I did check with a rescue that rejected us because my kids' are under their age requirement. That's really confusing and frustrating to me that they link to sites about breeders for families with younger kids, instead of considering them for adopting one in need. I get that they don't want a dog in a home that's unsafe for kids. I get that they are trying to ensure that the animals get placed appropriately. But I find it hard to believe that there's not a single rescue that would work for us.

Did anyone else wrestle with these feelings? I have good reasons to want a pup. I have kids, so I want to know the background and socialization for safety and family compatibility. But the truth is, I could find a puppy that would work with our family from a shelter, I'm sure. I just *want* a Cairn. I feel a little like I'm acting like a spoiled brat.

Did anyone else wrestle with these conflicting thoughts before getting a puppy? I am so anxious and excited to go get my puppy tomorrow. Yet, a bit of me feels this guilt.

Thoughts?

[eastofeden]

First off...no reason to feel guilty about getting your puppy. You have good reasons for doing that...you have checked around, found a responsible breeder and your dog will NEVER have to be in the rescue system. You are not contributing to the "unwanted" dog problem by impulsivly getting a dog or are supporting a puppy mill.

Rescue is a GREAT thing. I have had rescue dogs myself that were great dogs and enriched my life. But the dog and the time of my life was right. Sounds like you are not at that point. Perhaps in the future you will be. As long as you are not contributing to the problem. If you really feel bad, then opt to volunteer your time or money to one of your local animal shelters. The other thing to consider is that MANY breeders actively particpate in resuce. Almost all Cairn Terrier Clubs in the U.S actively particpate in rescue efforts.

I do have issue with many rescue groups who make it almost impossible for good homes to adopt their dogs. Families with children, the elderly, city or apartment dwellers are often ruled out based upon circumstances. I really feel that placement should be based upon evaluation of the individual dog and the potential adoptee family.

You are doing the right thing for you. Please enjoy your new puppy.

[pindrop]

Hi tomatosandwich (I always smile when I think of your name) Both hubby and I went down this very same road. When we decided to accept another dog into our lives and home, we grappled with this same decision. As both of us are older, I'm not sure an adoption center would have accepted us as adoptees. Needless to say, this is all behind us now as we went the other route and got a puppy. When making our decision, we were more concerned that adopting an older dog might have excess baggage that we, as not having a lot of dog experience, might not have been able to handle. Nontheless, having a puppy has its own share of problems as they require daily exercise and play time etc. etc. Also having only one dog, they depend on their uprights more and we were aware of all these things at the time. As hubby is retired, he takes care of Layla during the day while I am at work - but once I walk through the door in the evening, his shift is over and mine starts. It works out well for all of us.

From what I understand, on your previous posts, you have been down the road with rescue groups and been declined because you have young children. However, this is an individual decision and your family and yourself, based on the rejection, have formulated another plan. This seems to have been your only option - but who is to say that down the road, once your children are grown you may want to revisit this alternative.

The main thing is - you are getting a puppy tomorrow - so enjoy this new adventure with open arms and just go with the flow (as they say.) Put aside your guilt, as it is spent energy, and get ready to have your life turned upside-down. I can't speak for everyone on here, but I am excited for you and looking forward to hearing back once you have your new puppy. Drive carefully!

[tomatosandwich]

Thank you both for your kind, understanding words. I think you're right. Sometimes, it's fine to buy the puppy! This time, it's right for us!

And what a good point about volunteering at the shelter! Duh! Why didn't I think of that?!?

And pindrop, I'm so happy to find another tomato sandwich lover! It's one of my favorite parts of summer! Lightly toasted bread, mayo, thick slices of tomato from the garden, a little salt, and a ton of pepper. Yum! Come on summer!

[KShep]

I went through the same thing. I wanted to adopt, and found a terrier mix on Petfinder who was adopted the day I was set to drive out there. That was a little heartbreaking. All in the same day- I went to my local shelter, called a lady about a rescued litter (both females had been adopted), and then I met the breeder with the Cairns. I picked up the fattest little puppy and had to have her! I couldn't imagine a better pup for us. She wasn't a shelter dog, but she needed a good home just like those other dogs, didn't she?

I did donate to my local shelter after the fact. They were really helpful, and it just felt "right". One day I would like to adopt an adult male Bichon or Bichon mix. I will, as everyone else said, wait for the right time. I will let him find me!

It's not as easy as one might think to find the right rescue dog. Say you go on Petfinder and narrow the search down to all young dogs within a 100 mile radius. Then specify "female", "good with children and other dogs", "small", etc. You'll find the list grows smaller and smaller. Plus, cute little dogs don't stay in shelters for long.

[dianer]

I was in the exact same situation as you were. What we did was pay a breeder and raise her from a pup. Once she was trained and my daughter was older we adopted a rescue. The cairn I raised has helped our rescue cairn tremendously, better than any human could have, because he didn't ever bond to people as a pup, only other dogs. He is actually pretty fearful of people, but loves my daughter because he doesn't find kids as threatening. My daughter is now thirteen and understands why we do what we do for the cairns in our family, so we are also raising cairn-wise humans too. It can all work out for the best.

[ScruffynMag]

The way I look at it is to be able to rescue a dog, it has to be abandoned in the first place through one reason or another. Yes, an abandoned puppy needs a new loving home but so does a brand new shiny puppy from a breeder. A puppy given a kind loving home, be it from a breeder or from a rescue deserves it and whichever you choose, credit to you if you care and love that puppy and give it all it needs to grow into a happy, well adjusted, confident dog.

If owners don't give the shiny new puppy a loving home and they don't look after it properly and care for it........well then it could end up in a rescue centre......... If you see what I mean.

[DawnandTuk-tuk]

We have to come to terms with these things in our own way. You have taken a responsible approach to obtaining your puppy. I too searched for a pup from a shelter but none would adopt to us due to the age of my son. Here in AZ it's a little harder to find Cairns. So one day an ad appeared for a Cairn and we went to check it out, turns out it was a puppy store, but not a mall one (which was why I went in the first place cause I didn't know where the place was). And that's where I got my Tuk, from a pet store, gasp! I do not think purchasing from pet stores is acceptable and that it promotes the puppy mill issue so this was really difficult for me at the time. Somewhere inside I just made my peace with it.

Fast forward to present day and now I have 3 cats & 1 dog. We went to the pet store to purchase supplies the other day and my daughter admonished me for not donating to the homeless pets on the checkout (its an automated thing when you swipe your card). I told her all of our current pets have either come from a shelter or the Humane Society and we are and have done our part to help the issue. It is expensive to feed them all and care for them so I do not feel guilty when I select 'No Thanks'.

You never know where life will take you, perhaps your next dog will be a rescue. Or if you really must do something now rescue a cat!