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Manners?


aubreyea
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I just had three boys come up to my door and ring my doorbell. I came to the door, answered (Scruffy was barking but stopped when I got up), and smiled at them. One was at the door and the other two were standing at the bottom of the steps. The boy at the door (about 13) took a can and said, "do you know you're littering our neighborhood" and threw the can down at my feet. Now, it was an energy drink can and we don't drink those. Not that it would give him an excuse for saying and doing that. After that he looked at me and said, "candy". To give you a little background information, I work at a school and will graduate next December with a degree in elementary education. So I politely told him, "we could try another approach to that." The boys behind snickered a little and he looked at me and said, "candy." I didn't budge. He said, "forget you" and walked off. Well Scruffy was outside exploring and the boy growled at my dog. So I let Scruff sniff at him and bark up once before telling him to come inside.

What is with kids these days? It worries me that one day my children could have friends who act like that (I'm not ready to admit my children themselves could act like that). The boy is just lucky that he didn't touch or kick my dog, Halloween may have gotten very interesting.

Sorry about the fairly off topic post but my dogs have better manners than those boys did!

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I was just talking about this with a friend of mine who has a master's in child education and is director of a day care. I think you need not worry about your children acting like this, it is all in the up bringing. I have several friends with children who are VERY polite and well behaved because their parents teach them that, just like a dog you need to teach them manners.

Its funny but sometimes my friends and I talk about how it is fairly similar the way psychology with dogs and children can be similar. You taught Scruffy manners and he is well behaved.

I wouldn't have given them candy either!

Jess, Scooter, Sadie and Dozer

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Funny this topic came up. We had alot of kids as the weather was nice. I said to my husband tonight, whats up with the kids not even saying trick or treat. They walk up to the door and hold out there buckets. some said thank you but the majority justs walks away. Our son is 13 so he doesn't trick or treat anymore but when he was young I would walk with him and I always made sure he said Trick or treat and thank you. Some parents just dont teach right from wrong. I was soo sooo tempted not to give candy. I wanted to stand there and say. Arent you supposed to say trick or treat! My son was amazed at how many kids just walk up and hold out there buckets.

It sure makes me wonder now a days I think our Cairns are more well behaved and smarter than some of these kids!

I'm glad Scruff told those boys off!

Rhonda,Kramer & Angel Missy "Blessed is the person who has earned the love of an old dog". "It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them. And every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough, all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are" Missy Rainbow Bridge Memorial
/>http://www.indulgedfurries.com/petdiabetes/memorium/missy2.htm

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i'll contribute.... we had a bunch of T-O-T's at our house. Bailey gets picked up and held because he is a little insecure and when he feels that way he barks his bloody head off. Darcy gets to stay on leash. Both dogs were good. More whiney than barking because they wanted to lick every single kid that came to the door.... well except for the WAREWOLF masked kid (they did NOT like that mask one bit).

Anyway... we had 2 girls about 10 who were transporting themselves on bikes (pretty smart if you ask me).... BUT after ringing our doorbell and us not getting to the door in a timely fashion for us, they then proceeded to beat the tar out of our door with their fists. And if course the nasty barking began.

Kids!

Kate, Darcy & Bailey's mom
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If the kids aren't really small I ask them if they're forgetting something when they hold out the bucket. I guess that's the teacher in me.

We didn't have any door-bangers this year but it was kind of a slow year for us. I'm hoping someone told those kids off!

I've always compared dog training and child...err.. rearing. They do seem really similar. The main difference is the type of communication given back to us (verbally).

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Kuddos to you for sticking with the "manners first." Hopefully in the long run one of those kids will get it that in order to make a life that is worth something respect others, getting respect in return.

My DH answered most times at the door, he say the cutest chicken out fit on a toddler. He would answer the door, I would keep the oldest Cairn with me and let the younger ones wiggle at the door. Heard a lot of "Aw, look at the doggy....OMG there are two!"

I think the Cairns wanted to go home, or at least out and run with the "nice" kids.

It was a lot quieter night then when I was a kid.....dating myself, I think it is way past my bedtime!!

Nite all and hope you had a good evening seeing all of the cute outfits.

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What rude little children. Their parents have obviously not taught them some very necessary life lessons, sure to be in the court system eventually. Glad to hear you didn't back down - and that your Cairn barked in the right direction :)

Hollie Edelbrock & Brystal Sonoma
Chris, Stacy and Little Noah
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My response to the kids who stand there and hold out their buckets is to open the door and stand there & look at them. After an awkward pause, they finally do say "trick or treat". Most of the kids reluctant to speak were simply shy. I did have to prompt thank yous at times...by saying "Your Welcome!" but most kids did figure it out. I live in a neighborhood where english is not the primary language....and that can come into play too at times. I do want to say that the kids this year were polite...and we did not get many older kids (teens) coming to the door. In the past most of our trick or treaters have been teens and too old for trick or treat.

Izze did very well....came to the door and watched the kids with curiousity....no barking except at a set of twins who were dressed in black leotards wearing white boxes with black dots...They were a pair of dice....Too cute!

Raise your expectations for what your Cairn can do....and try very hard to meet your Cairn's expectations of you.
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mine barkerd their heads off the second a T-O-T set foot on our front lawn...but they had fuun giving out the candy!!!

kids are a reflection of their parents, I'm a firm believer of that!! hate to think what the parents are like if their children are behaving in such manner.

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I've never really understood the American custom of trick or treating. Do some householders reply "trick" and if so, what happens next?

Isn't it strange that children are taught not to take sweets off strangers, but one night of the year they knock on strangers doors to "beg" for sweets?

Now Fergus, my Cairn, begs for treats off everyone he meets, any day of the year!

Cheers,

Welly

Veni, vidi, velcro - I came, I saw, I stuck around
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We don't get alot of tricker-treaters so I decided to buy the big candy bars this year. The first little girl at my door (with her mother at her side) asked if she could have two. I politely said "no, I am giving out big bars this year and everybody gets one" she grabbed two shoved them in her pail and they both walked away!

I was really shocked. I was going to take my candy, go back in the house and turn off the lights but I decide to keep the light on and try again. I am happy to report she was the only rude child of the night. Most of the kids were thrilled. I was even told by one teenager my candy was

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Ha! That sounds just like our house. We switched to big bars as well, for the same reason. One of the first clump of kids asked if he could have two and I said essentially the same as you. He didn't grab another though, and as they walked back to the sidewalk I hear an adult voice say, "OK, which one of you asked for two?!" then a couple small voices ratting out their brother, "Jason!" :lol:

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Gosh, reading about all that bad behavior I feel really lucky!

We LOVE Halloween, and we live in a city neighborhood where the houses are very close together. OVer the years we have never had less than 50 kids, and sometimes as many as 200. This year we had around 100-110. We buy the bulk candy because with that many kids individual bars would be out of the question. We love talking to the kids, handing out candy, exclaiming at the costumes.

A diverse group of kids come to our door, some very dressed, some not. This year for the first time we had a few Somali kids. The families are very protective of their children, so I was glad to see this participation in American life.

Many of the kids complimented our three pumpkins. Most said "trick or treat" (and of course I was saying it to them too...) Many said thanks. I teased a lot of them too: can you imagine the look on a young boy's face when I looked into his heavy pillowcase of candy and said, "hey, you've got enough. How about if you give me some candy instead???"

Just to make this dog-related, Allie was calmer than she has ever been about the constantly-ringing door bell. I think maybe it's because T-Bone was with her and didn't bark. They were gated into the kitchen but curious, and peered out once in a while. Pretty well behaved though, and I was proud of them.

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Welly:

It is an odd tradition. I think it relates back to a Scot's/Irish tradition of providing hospitality for those who ask. As for the trick.....not many happen...maybe a few jack o laterns smashed (which is not cool)...but usually if you are not participating you make sure your porch lights are turned off and you are not bothered. My mom who is in her late 70's talks about Mischief Night which was on 10/30 where they would go out and knock on doors and run....or put soap on windows. Nothing harmful but perhaps annoying. She grew up on the East Coast...and this is not somehthing we ever did in my childhood.

We have always passed out coins. When I was growing up it was pennys....but now we pass out nickles...and always make sure we slip extra into the neighbor kids bags :+)

Raise your expectations for what your Cairn can do....and try very hard to meet your Cairn's expectations of you.
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I live on a busy one way street, so I get very few trick or treaters. Due to the traffic, parents take the younger kids to other areas, and about all that comes to my house are those kids who are too old to be out there in the first place. Usually no costume, just a sack and a "gimme my stuff" attitude. So on Halloween I just go out for a few hours.

I am pleasantly surprised at the number of younger kids along our walking route who are well behaved and polite. When we are on our walks, kids often stop playing and come up and ask if it's OK to pet Renny. They pet him and he eats up the attention. I do restrain him when we meet smaller kids, since he is a jumper, and I'm concerned that he would knock smaller kids off their feet.

There is one house along our walking route that has large windows in the dining area at the front of the house. My evening walk is around suppertime and at this house are a young boy and girl around 6 to 8 years old. I have seen these kids jump up from the table, and run out to meet me and Renny. They say "Hi Renny", pet him and then go back to their meal. They are really nice little kids, but I suspect that the meal interuption is frustrating for their Mom. Whenever these same kids are playing outside, they stop what they are doing and come over to pet Renny and say "Hi" to him.

I posted the following incident quite awhile back, but it might be worth mentioning again. There is a house around the corner from mine that had two small kids. I didn't know the parents beyond the "Hi" and a wave stage.

We were walking past that house one day and the little boy ( about 4 years old) came up to us and said "Hi, Mister. What's your dogs name?" I told him and he asked "Can I pet him?" and I said yes. and he petted Renny. Then he said "Mister, where does Renny poop? My Mom says some dog is pooping in our yard". So I told him that Renny poops in my yard ( I didn't think I needed to go into the logistics of "poop bags" with a 4 year old.). The little boy said "OK, Bye Mister, Bye Renny" and went back to playing in his yard.

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