To: God, From: The Dog

[Hagar]

The "God created the Cairn" thread reminded me of a somewhat similar item I recieved shortly after Renny took over the house.

Some of you may have seen it before, but I think most will enjoy it.

To: God

From: The Dog

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or, is it the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the Jaguar, the Cougar, the Mustang, the Colt, the Sting Ray and the Rabbit, but not ONE named after a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the "Chrysler Beagle"?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in a forest, and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers,beepers, scent ID's electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.

4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

5. The sofa is not a "face towel". Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.

6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's drivers license and registration.

9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".

11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

13. I will not throw up in the car.

14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.

16. the cat is not a "squeaky toy" so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

And finally, my last two questions......

Dear God: Why do humans only have 10 commandments and dogs have 16?

P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

[Scully'sMom]

I've never seen that! I really liked it (and printed it out)

[RockStarz]

That's funny! I am going to share that with my dog friends!

[Hagar]

Glad you like it. I probably should have given credit to the source, but the writer is unknown.

I recieved it as an Email sent by either my daughter or sister shortly after I got Renny.

Hagar

[kayharley]

I've never read it either...thanks, it was great!