Fudgie Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 I did not write this, it was sent to me. But, I know how the author feels! Dear Dogs, The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are Mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my Plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the Slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is Not a racetrack. Beating me to the Bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than You can run. I cannot buy anything bigger than a King sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue Sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs can actually curl up In a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each Other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking Tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize Space is nothing but sarcasm. For the last time, There is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you There and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, bark, Try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door Open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the Bathroom for years-canine Attendance is not Mandatory. The proper order is kiss me, then go Smell the other dog's butt. I cannot stress this Enough! To pacify you , my dear pets, I have Posted the following message on our front Door: Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like To Complain About Our Pets: 1. They live here. You don't. 2. If you don't want their hair on Your clothes, stay off the furniture.(That's why they call it "fur"niture.) 3. I like my pets a lot better than Most people. 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, He/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and Doesn't speak clearly. Dogs are better than kids .they eat less, don't Ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never Drive your car, Don't hang out with drug-using Friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest Fashions, don't wear your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars for College - and if they get pregnant, you can sell the Children. Sincerely, your upright owner Our Fudgie...........every day........after a walk! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eliz222 Posted August 29, 2007 Share Posted August 29, 2007 Nice letter! Fudgie is so cute! Scout like to lie in the water like that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brin145 Posted August 29, 2007 Share Posted August 29, 2007 The letter is great. I immediately had to email it to my dh at work where we would BOTH start the day off with a smile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nikki Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 cute Dogs' lives are too short. Their only fault, really." - Carlotta Monterey O'Neill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shergry Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 Just read the great letter, thanks. Could I also add that we get to buy the ones we want to keep. DH wants to know if a dog has to pay taxes on the 12 million that was left to the dog in a will? LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TNA Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 Great letter. I must send that to all my dog-loving friends and family. I, too, know exactly how that author felt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimnconnie Posted August 31, 2007 Share Posted August 31, 2007 Awesome letter! I took the liberty of making a few alterations to fit our situation and I'm going to frame it and hang it by the front door! Jim, Connie, Bailey & Sophie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimnconnie Posted August 31, 2007 Share Posted August 31, 2007 Actually I'm only posting the "Rules For Those Who Visit", not the whole letter. Jim, Connie, Bailey & Sophie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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