MAJOR Jealousy

[Toto-lee Cairn]

Toto, at 13 weeks, came home with me.  There were only two in his litter, but I know little of his life then, as I rescued him from, of all places, a damn pet store.  I figured I was cutting-out the 'middle man,' as people come into places like that, go home with a puppy they can't resist, that turns out to be ALL wrong.  In the Cairn Rescue here, we had dogs just like that -- given up, after being mistreated or abused, because they weren't Labs.

So, it has been a win-win.  I was able to stop mourning my first little pal, who had been an older rescue, and Toto came home to people who loved the antics of a terrier (well, one who loves them, and another who laughs and tolerates them -- how many times I hear, 'Your dog,' followed by any number of comments.

That's the back story.

Toto, the Cairn,  is my dog.  Rupert, the Weimaraner, is George's. 

Now you have the picture.

In an effort to 'welcome' the puppy home, make him feel loved and secure, something has gone awry.  He is SO jealous of Rupert until it is almost unbelievable.  Toto gets a toy, a treat, attention, *whatever,* and he is basking in it all  .  .  .  until .  .  . Rupert gets the same.  Toto then ends up with two toys (he never gets Rupert's treat, unless it's an ice cube, dropped onto the floor), and some additional attention from Dad.  We gave up fairly early-on thinking they'd work it out.  Rupert is so docile and sweet; Toto demanding.  To help Rupert, we have laid ground rules, strictly adhered to.  Each boy's crate is strictly his, and we don't let Toto get away with any nipping, or trying to intimidate Rupert.  The most successful behavior-modification is removing Toto, physically, into the laundry room, behind the gate, admonishing him for what put him there, and giving him 5, 10, or 15 minutes to 'think' about it.

I guess what perplexes me is that Toto probably gets easily 70% of *whatever.*  We've worked with a wonderful trainer here who believes dogs only get things if they earn them, and as the person, you are in control, which has worked to show Toto there are expectations, limits.  But, his wanting anything Rupert gets, or has, still amazes us.  Just recently, Rupert (because of his age) has been getting chondroitin tablets with his meals, twice a day.  At one point, Toto saw the 'something extra' evidently, and decided he was not going to eat.  I was getting ready to carry him to the vet to investigate his not eating when George figured it out -- so Rupert gets the tablet, and we add a light-colored treat on top of Toto's meal.  Problem solved.

If these were children, Toto would be the little brother, at 3-4, driving the older one, now 12, nuts, with Mom having to stay on top of the little one.

Any of you ever dealt with such?  Out of curiosity.

 

[Sam I Am]

Fear the Cairn......seems pretty normal to me . Why would any self respecting terrier allow another dog to have in their possession something the did not have. 

Both Sam and Rosie “mob” me when I am waking up.....it’s all about who gets the first morning scratch. It’s all about who gets to lie on me first, the other one moodily stands back whining.  It always makes me laugh...what a great way to wake up every morning.

[bradl]

3 hours ago, Toto-lee Cairn said:

so Rupert gets the tablet, and we add a light-colored treat on top of Toto's meal.  Problem solved.

I like your problem solving style. 

[CamilleatGaelforce]

Toto-Lee, I wish I had a suggestion for you, but I don't.  I do strictly enforce my chosen pack order, which is age-based, but I don't do the NILIF (nothing in life is free) method, it's more share and share alike, as long as what we are eating is not toxic for the dogs, and of course they get way less than what they'd like to have.  Charlie Cairn gets his enzyme tablets before anyone else gets anything, but I tell Max Manchester and Johnny Scottie that it's medicine, and they should be glad they don't need it, and that seems to satisfy them.  Overall, so long as everyone gets some, they don't seem too jealous of what order they get it in.  Thankfully, they are all old dogs now, and less likely to get themselves worked up over what is a pretty trivial detail in the end.

[Toto-lee Cairn]

18 hours ago, bradl said:

I like your problem solving style. 

Thanks, Brad.  I only had one child, and often had to figure-out how to teach her to share, etc., which was often challenging.  Once, before her cousins came over, I told her to put away her 'favorite(s),' and when I went to check the playroom, there wasn't a toy in sight.  That's Toto.  What's his is his, and what's Rupert's is his.

Sounds like this is to be expected, then, of Toto.  My two previous terriers didn't act like that, and pretty much shared toys and attention.  If the four of us are together, Toto wants to be in my lap, getting scratches from Dad.  To be honest, it drives George crazier than any of the three of us.  Rupert tap dances around the little devil, and I just keep an eye open so that Toto doesn't nip him.

I'd love to see the pecking order in a pack of these little guys.  I'm sure Angus in Scotland doesn't police the pack anymore than he probably hand strips each?