Concerns about our Cairn family

[bradl]

Thank you for understanding and your kind words.

As an addendum (this thing is going to get footnotes at the rate I'm going) I realize that without a recap and blow-by-blow, which I am not going to provide, and given the hole in the record, something may not be crystal clear: This is not in response to any single poster. I was flooded with PMs and contact emails as well as a number of posts that expressed concern about the situation from top to bottom.

My attempt at early intervention backfired due to haste and that's on me. I'm actually somewhat ashamed that I did intervene but the scope and degree of backlash in total is what convinced me that even though I intervened inelegantly and a bit unfairly, the underlying problem was much wider than one interaction in time. I've been worried about the sort of things I addressed above for a long time. Unfortunately my attempt to turn what I felt was a minor incident into a learning opportunity was a bust. 

[Lynn in TN]

Very well written Brad. I would love to be able to write so eloquently. (kind of) lol  I don't like to write, type and so on. haha 

I agree with what you wrote. I have come to most of the same conclusions about people, as well. I was bullied somewhat, as a child so most of what people do and say does't affect me personally. It does bother me when I know people I care about are going to be hurt. That's when I slam the laptop shut and take a break.

You should write books Brad, if you haven't already. If you have, I would love to read them. 

We all know why Cairns are like they are as they were bred that way. We do not know why people are like they are. So many things happen in life to shape us into the people we become. We never know what peoples shoes have walked through.

[Idaho Cairns]

Don't take on too much responsibility Brad, this is the age of "the offended".  Unimaginable that it could happen on a rather pleasant forum about scrappy little dogs, who regularly take "offense" at a whole raft of things and then just as quickly, forget the offense and go on with their abundant self confidence to satisfy their own needs.  We could/should all take a lesson from them but alas, we are human (superior creatures).

 

"Humans are nervous, touchy creatures and can be easily offended. Many are deeply insecure. They become focused and energized by taking offence; it makes them feel meaningful and alive." Michael Leunig
 

[Autumn & Lola]

I have been fairly quiet throughout this, but I will speak up now, briefly (for me). 

When Brad posted the 'Cairn Anniversary' event, I wrote a very long Word document explaining how wonderful I think this forum is and how much it meant to me. For some reason (being the hopeful, internet dork I am), I thought on that day that there was to be an actual online 'party' - similar to the old AOL chat-room days. I even put it on my Outlook calendar so I didn't miss the date/time. Ever since moving to England, I've felt a little out of sync with the forum, being 5-8 hours ahead of the North America folks. I thought it would be fantastic to communicate with everyone in real time. Again, how I got this into my head is anyone's guess. On that morning, I started to write a post, asking people to share their fondest memories from the forum.  Then I stopped, as I was afraid I'd be stepping on Brad's toes and maybe he wanted to bring it up during the party.  When I realized that I had read the 'invite' incorrectly and there was in fact, no party,  I kept the Word document anyway, as I thought I might share it later and because it was nice to read all the memories.

There are in life some bullies, and there are in life some easily offended. I am neither. I have been a member of tons of forums in 25 years, and have moderated a few during that time. I have seen the very worst, and the very best that the internet can offer. I always considered Cairn Talk as one of the best - in fact - *the* best - for a number of reasons, some obvious, some personal. However, during the time of the 'incident' I could feel the negativity from the forum coming from my screen. I left the forum for a few days NOT because of the opinions/posts of one member, but because of the aftermath and the general negativity that accompanied it. I went back and read that Word document and at a glance, it didn't seem like the same forum I had written about only a week prior, and that made me very sad. I de-activated my account without any announcement or warning so that I would not be tempted to post anything stupid or highly offensive in the heat of the moment that I would later regret, and further squelch my fond memories. Coming back was easier than dealing with the flood of emails I received in those few days, for which I was truly grateful to receive.

[Sam I Am]

6 hours ago, Idaho Cairns said:

 

"Humans are nervous, touchy creatures and can be easily offended. Many are deeply insecure. They become focused and energized by taking offence; it makes them feel meaningful and alive." Michael Leunig
 

Chuck I had a bit of a chuckle when I read the above. It sounds like what is going on in the US political arena. (no offence meant to the leader of your choice). Yup, to be human is to be flawed. Thank goodness, otherwise we would all be up for Sainthood, and wouldn't that be boring!

 

[Hillscreek]

Well done Brad. Totally agree. Very well written. You are  a patient man. I would not blame you if you walked away.

Being an oldster I come from the days of newsletters and magazines that one subscribed to according to one's special interests. The days before there even was an Internet. (Dale Carnegie days!!). I do not belong to Facebook or Twitter or any of the other social media. I joined cairntalk as I thought it would be interesting to talk with other cairn owners and to have a new experience in communication. I gained lots of good info helping me as Angus grew up, enjoyed sharing pics and stories of our furry ones. In the four and half years I been a member I've been surprised by how easygoing people seemed to be.

That has changed. Now I see some of the apparently easy going folk are pretty easily riled up. When things get personal it's not so enjoyable any more. Just another shouting match found everywhere you look, alas.

[Sam I Am]

May I make a small (yet huge plea). Can we please move on, and get back to our "funner" posts.