Kathryn Posted April 18, 2016 Share Posted April 18, 2016 (edited) I definitely need your advice, your support, and maybe a few shoulders to cry on. A few weeks ago I wrote asking about training tools for kids to help them work with dogs. If you will remember, my "bonus granddaughter" - daughter of the daughter of a best friend who died two years ago, to whom I have been and still am very close - got nipped by Oban about a year ago (no skin broken, but definitely a snap) when she leaned over him to hug him while he was in my lap. It was quick, and I didn't have time to react as she had been crawling around under the dining room table while we were all talking after dinner. My son-in-law is, as I mentioned, not a dog person, not an outdoorsy person. And bonus daughter is also wound tight. We watch the dog and child together closely now, but she is somewhat afraid of dogs, given her parents' proclivities. She will still scream and run when Oban comes towards her, and he reacts as most terriers would. We scoop him up, he has never bit again, but he is an enthusiastic terrier who will run and jump when someone is doing the same. We separate them but -- as she becomes older - a closed door or gate doesn't keep her out...and I am not willing to completely separate the dog out of their life. I read and watched everything you all told me about, and Steve and I decided what would help her would be for her to join me as I "train" the dog so that she would learn to act appropriately around him and would avoid those actions which set dogs off, of which she does many...One afternoon I worked with her and, when her folks came over for dinner, mentioned I had begun that. Mom went into an adamant "it's your dog that needs training, not my child." She was quite rigid. I spent a few nights crying, Steve and I talked it over and over and over, and we decided that, if we were ever to have the child in our house, we were going to have to sit down with them and express our concerns with hopes of clearing the air. This was not an isolated comment on her part, and the husband has made similar ones. I don't even known if he realizes how hurtful they are... Anyway, we will sit down -- without kid -- later this week. When I called to suggest it, since they both work, I mentioned we could meet for morning coffee as they head to work so that the child would not be around. She insisted that would not work because she will cannot go to work after this conversation (I decribed it quite lightly, so the anger is on her side) so we will need to meet later. God - if they issue some kind of ultimatum, and I think they will try, what do we do? I am not going to give the dog up, and I truly believe the child needs to learn how to behave around dogs. The family is fooling themselves if they think the child is safe not knowing how to act... Steve says he would react to an ultimatum the way he usually does: you made your bed, now lay in it. But I am afraid this means we no longer see the child in our house -- or in the house we rent on winter vacations, which they have visited. What should I do? Help! Edited April 18, 2016 by Kathryn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Join the conversation
You can post now and register after. Your post will display after you confirm registration. If you already have an account, sign in now to post with your account.