Be careful what you wish for.

[sanford]

From day one, Ruffy has always enjoyed his perch on the sofa except when I was sitting there. Any time I tried to join Ruffy, he would  jump down immediately and find a spot somewhere else in the room - or leave the room altogether! What was up with that? (Perhaps his first owners trained him to keep off)?

 For 5 years I tried unsuccessfully to coax Ruffy to share the sofa with me  (while I read, watched tv, used my iPad, etc.), but no dice!

But things finally changed some months ago when for some reason, at the ripe old age of 8, Ruffy decided to give in to my coaxing. Since then, when I'm stretched out watching tv, etc., he comes over, gives a soft semi-growl and jumps up to join me... After all these years, I finally got my wish!

So what's my problem now?... Ruffy has an amazing ability for choosing the wrong spot, forcing me to become a contortionist, as I shift around, trying to find a position that's sort of comfortable, but not really! My sofa-comfort-zone, that I used to cherish, is gone forever!

P.S. Can anyone explain the "in your face, cairn stare"?  Before settling down, Ruffy very decisively walks across the cushions, tail wagging, sticks his nose directly in my face and stares intently into my eyes!  What's he saying?

Of course, this always makes me laugh and that seems to break the spell, so he lays down, contentedly curled up next to me and I'm happy...Not nearly as comfortable as I used to be when I had the sofa to myself, but happy!

Edited January 31, 2016 by sanford

[pkcrossley]

"P.S. Can anyone explain the "in your face, cairn stare"?  Before settling down, Ruffy very decisively walks across the cushions, tail wagging, sticks his nose directly in my face and stares intently into my eyes!  What's he saying?"

he's reading your mind (you must have a lot of small print) of course. either wants to know whether you are going to behave if he gets on the couch, or is trying to implant a lot of suggestions about how you should behave. 

my redmon was a champion at the stare and i never did figure it out completely. it is not casual. it is about something they intensely desire to do or to say. i think cairns' greatest regret is that they cannot talk, since they clearly always know exactly what they want to say, and have a lot to say, but have to use their eyes, paws, voices and a certain amount of telepathy to get it across.

 

Edited January 31, 2016 by pkcrossley

[Hillscreek]

I read somewhere not to look directly into a dog's eyes as it could be interpreted as threatening. But just like you folks say it can be different  with a cairn. Angus gets up close on my lap and his eyes are intensely focused on mine. His facial muscles are "gathered" somehow - I don't know how to describe it. His ears are pointed straight up and truly I think he is about to speak aloud. Sometimes I think I know what he is communicating but sometimes I have no idea. When I return his look I see how intelligent and what depth of spirit there is in this little 16lb bundle. It's just for a second or two then he either gets down or snuggles at my side - and yes I do have to move over a bit as the chair we sit on is not very big. I dare say all he is saying is 'move over, mama'

[Malcolm's Dad]

The "in your face, cairn stare"  is Ruffy saying "Hey! You are in my spot". Then he figures you won't move so he finds a spot. Or should I say he claims a spot? When Malcolm is settled in on the couch he will not move. If he is using my feet as a pillow I have to slip my feet out from under him. I get a growl that says "Hey! What are you doing? I was comfortable".

Hope you find a compromise with Ruffy. Try encouraging him to a spot that is somewhat comfortable.

[Sam I Am]

I always laughed when Jock would give me that rumbly growl if I pushed him over when I also wanted to sit on the couch. It was always accompanied with a stink eye....sure it meant #%#%** to you to mum. Kind of miss that I must admit. Rosie is so sweet that the thought of ever challenging either of us would never enter her Scottie mind. Jock..well that was a completely different story .

[josie&holly]

Ivy's technique on the sofa is to lie with her back to me and then her back legs push into me so that I end up with a third of the sofa and my little dog ends up with the rest!

She will not be happy as in couple of months I will have a chair and a sofa instead of two sofas [decided I needed to have some comfortable support which a chair would offer better] so might have a different battle to contend with! Ivy though can have a whole sofa to herself but will probably want chair!]

[hheldorfer]

DH has seriously suggested that we need to buy two more recliners for the living room so Buffy and Ziggy can each have one too.  Every morning they "claim" the two chairs and don't want to give them up.  

The stare:  It *is* intense, isn't it?  They are desperately trying to communicate something and we, being ignorant humans, can't figure it out.  No wonder that they get frustrated with us.

 

[Lupinegirl]

Nikki and I share my recliner.  He's not a lap dog but he likes to snuggle between my knees and rest his chin on my ankle. He tells me when he wants me to put my feet up by pacing, sitting in front of me, doing his anxious not-quite-whining raspy breathing, and staring pointedly at me with his ears up. If I'm rocking at the time, he keeps eye contact by tilting his head up and down with the movement of my rocker.  Once I pop the footrest up, he puts his front feet on it to check the height, rocks back and springs up. Then he circles and lays cross wise on both of my knees.

I've got a routine down where I use my knee to nudge Nikki's tuckus into a more comfortable position for me. Sometimes he growls or sighs but ninety nine percent of the time, he accepts the jostling as part of the routine and makes himself comfortable by kicking me, patting my leg again with one or both back feet, resting his chin on my other ankle, sighing contentedly, and relaxing.  I've been treated to quite a few spectacles with him snoozing like that in my chair.  It's absolutely adorable feeling his chin, back, and feet move and watching his lips, ears, and eyes wiggle as he quietly lets out a squeaky "woofwoofwoof!" in his dreams. He snores a lot, too. Lol. 

[sanford]

Lupine Girl, you eloquently described these small, but infinitely gratifying pleasures given to us by our faithful companions.?

Maybe this is too subtle for some folks to grasp - those folks who say they are not "dog lovers". It's a shame, because they'll never, ever know what they missed!

[Lupinegirl]

On January 31, 2016 at 0:40 PM, sanford said:

P.S. Can anyone explain the "in your face, cairn stare"?  Before settling down, Ruffy very decisively walks across the cushions, tail wagging, sticks his nose directly in my face and stares intently into my eyes!  What's he saying?

Of course, this always makes me laugh and that seems to break the spell, so he lays down, contentedly curled up next to me and I'm happy...Not nearly as comfortable as I used to be when I had the sofa to myself, but happy!

I wonder if Ruffy is smelling your breath and checking your health while he's doing this? While it could partly be dominance and he's saying "haha. Got you right where I want you, Mum," I've read that dogs do not see people as fellow dogs. They recognize that we are a different species, which is pretty incredible.

 

It is pretty amazing how much dogs can communicate with us if we're willing to pay attention to them and work with them.  My Siberian husky was a good communicator but Nikki tops every dog I've ever known in the communication department.  I never get a blank stare from him.  There's always something going on in that adorable head of his, whether it's emotions he's communicating, or a need, or he's formulating more ways to communicate since I'm clearly too dense to get it the first time.  

Sometimes Nikki refuses to look me in the eyes and turns his head to the side, staring off in the distance. But  when he really wants to communicate, he makes sure he gets my attention and stares right into my eyes. "Look at me, please? Will you do this for me now?" Regardless of the reason, I get that direct, eager, cairn stare multiple times a day. "Take me out. Feed me. Play with me.  I'm itchy! My tummy doesn't feel well... Put your chair up: I want to snuggle. Pet me. I want to investigate! Something is happening! I'm nervous!"  Once I move toward him, he usually directs my steps or rolls over and wags for a scratch.  

Years ago, Nikki told Mom he was cold in the back of the car by looking directly at her, meeting her eyes in the rear view mirror, and dry coughing pointedly at her.  He waited for about eight seconds before repeating the single dry cough.  He did that five times, without averting his gaze.  Once she adjusted the temperate, he stopped coughing and settled in for the rest of the ride.  On a more recent car ride, he stared at me until I looked at him, met my eyes and chattered his teeth to tell me he was cold.  I can tell by the way he breathes exactly how he's feeling: if he's nervous, bored, uncomfortable, excited, irritated, or content. Now if I could just read his mind so I don't have to keep playing guessing games to figure out what he wants when all of his needs are taken care of! Lol. 

[Idaho Cairns]

Wishing with Cairns is always problematic.  I remember, in the late Fall of last year, with the achingly beautiful cool days and cooler nights, thinking about how nice it would be come the cold weather when the down mattress and down comforter would be put on the king sized bed and how with the flannel sheets and blankets the bed would be so very cozy.  Of course these thoughts always included two Cairns gently hugging  my back and legs as I peacefully slept thru the cold nights.  It was a fantasy.
Reality has become two rotten little buggers who, when I finally come to bed after my late night web surfing, are occupying "my side" of the bed and who, after much whispered (can't wake Mom) commands move reluctantly to the middle of the bed or, not so cooperatively, have to be physically moved out of my space.  Then, as I read myself to sleep with the Kindle, they slowly move back, applying subtle pressure against that back and those legs throughout the night--causing me to sleepily move closer to the edge until, in the wee hours of morning, I am damn near hanging on the edge, a micro inch from falling out of bed!  Every night this routine is observed and if I dare to shift my legs, I get a low growl or some similar snotty version of Cairn outrage at being touched in their sleep! 
They never sleep on Mom's side of the bed since they know the line of authority in this house but my portion is somehow seen to be "open territory", owned by the creature that can make itself the heaviest, the hardest to move.  How a sixteen pound Cairn can somehow be transposed into a seventy pound weight in sleep, I have never figured out but the transformation always seems to come every night.
So, my wish for a comfortable, warm bed to snuggle in has become a nightly battleground of wills and we all know about Cairn "will" when it comes to time and space.  I don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of peaceful night's sleep and, worse, Sammi and Bonnie look like they aren't the least bit sympathetic with my plight or my fond wishes when I wake up from seven hours of battling them for room on my own bed!

[bradl]

Hah, I know well this feeling of being slowly leveraged right off the edge of the bed. How can a fourteen pound dog exert so much force in such a stealthy manner? It's like some sort of reverse gravity well. 

I miss old Haggis. You could grab his legs and simply drag him anywhere else on the bed and he would not wake, struggle or stir.  Once abed he was a lump.

[Dempsy's Mom]

I can so relate.  I enjoy sleeping with Elsie, but she pushes and wiggles around till she has me adjusting for her - edge of the bed.

[Kathryn]

Love having a cuddly cairn in bed on a cold winter night! Oban will join me on the bed when I retire to read  but the minute Steve comes to bed he jumps off and goes under the bed to sleep. Not sure why he always leaves?

He will come back later during the night - he barks once to wake me up so I will get up and put him back on the bed. Then he likes to get under the covers between us, but velcroed to my side. Lately he has been burrowing towards the bottom, and I have found him by my feet the last few mornings. How can he possibly breathe under so many covers?

He is the first cairn I have had that doesn't actually take over the bed.

[Sam I Am]

Chuck you had me laughing and snorting my tea into my nose!

[hheldorfer]

We recently had to ban Buffy and Ziggy from the bed due to my allergies.  It's been two weeks now and Buffy has adjusted, although Ziggy still gives me the pathetic "You don't love me anymore" look when I say goodnight.  I miss their warm little bodies next to me but DH is thrilled that he no longer has to sleep like a contortionist, with Buffy occupying 1/3 of his side of the bed.  Poor man sometimes woke up with his knees in his chest.

[Lynn in TN]

Now with coffee coming out my nose and all over everything because I'm laughing so hard at our Cairns. Kelly is the same and I have often wondered how a 14 pound dog can move a 165 pound man to one side of the bed while simultaneously moving a 120 pound woman to the other side of the bed. Both me and hubby hanging on to only a sliver of the bed and the cute little Cairn sleeping comfortably on a lot more than just the middle every night and growling her little warning not to disturb her beauty sleep as humans are not aloud to move when on the bed. Then one day husband says I just heard a strange growl, I said don't worry that was me giving Kelly a taste of her own medicine. 

Thank goodness Prissy doesn't like other dogs or Eric and I would completely lose our bed.

 

[sanford]

All I can say is... These responses have been a real eye-opener for me.

First I bemoaned the fact that Ruffy wouldn't accept my invitations to join me on the couch-- until he did-- and now I'm struggling with the (uncomfortable) results!

My other beef has been Ruffy's refusal to share the bed and sleep with me. Instead of complaining, now I think I'll count my blessings (and sheep) while enjoying my uninterrupted good nights sleep!?

My sympathies to Idaho, Dempsy's Mom, Lynn, Bradl, hheldorfer, etc., etc.?

 

Edited February 8, 2016 by sanford

[Idaho Cairns]

You are fortunate Sanford--do nothing to encourage a Cairn as a bedmate, there is a rule that I am sure is universal--One does not "share" a bed with a Cairn for Cairns won't/don't "share".  Put them in a king sized bed and they become Mastiffs in terms of occupied space. 
Count blessings and never surrender because, if you do, I guarantee it will not be the last towel thrown.

[Hillscreek]

Can't tell if you folks like having your cairns in bed or not. I love Angus but I love that we each have our own room and our own bed

[kjwarnold]

Just got caught up here and it's a riot!  Packy and Kirby head up to bed with me and both hop up and wait in their assigned (not sure by who) spots.  I wriggle in between them and the. Proceed with the nightly neck and chest scratches.  Kirby snuggles up for about 10 minutes, then moves to end of the bed to wait until he thinks I'm asleep.  At that point, he goes to a chair when he sleeps on an old quilt.

Packy is the bed hog.  Once Kirby goes to the end of the bed, it's Packy's turn for neck scratches and cuddles.  Once I stop petting, he flips around with his head facing the end of the bed (surely to watch protectively for anything that might crawl up from the end of the bed) and glues himself to my hip.  We watch TV for a bit, then when I turn over to go to sleep, Packy moves up a bit and lays perpendicular to me.  That's okay so far since DH hasn't come to bed yet.  Once DH comes up, he has to forcibly move Packy and gets a little grumble/growl for disturbing his sleep.  During the night, he might wake me up by giving me "The Paw" to curl up on my right side with knees pulled up so he can curl up in the full body nest I've made for him.  I'm also required to put my arm on him, for warmth, I guess.  When I'm tired of being his nest and turn over, I get legs kicking me in the back as he stretches out full length between DH and me.  Then it starts all over again when I get "The Paw."  "The Paw" starts out with a gentle nudge with his paw.  If I ignore him, the nudging becomes harder and he might throw in a little whine.  You do not ignore "The Paw!"

In the morning, Kirby returns to the bed.  He walks full length up my body, stands on my chest and stares at me, then gives me a quick kiss.  It's time to get up!  I might get another 30 minutes of dozing before he walks back up (again, on me) to let me know he's ready for breakfast.  

These little guys are the best!  (As I sit here drinking my morning coffee in the recliner, with Packy snuggled down on my left and Kirby curled up on my feet.)

[Lupinegirl]

11 hours ago, Idaho Cairns said:

You are fortunate Sanford--do nothing to encourage a Cairn as a bedmate, there is a rule that I am sure is universal--One does not "share" a bed with a Cairn for Cairns won't/don't "share".  Put them in a king sized bed and they become Mastiffs in terms of occupied space. 
Count blessings and never surrender because, if you do, I guarantee it will not be the last towel thrown.

My bed buddy is pretty easy going now. I wrote a thread on here about the climatic battle that decided our fates when we first tried sharing my bed. Lol 

 When competition became too fierce I resolved that by putting him back on the floor. Nikki decided it was nicer to accommodate me and get used to my leg wiggling rather than sleep in his crate or the floor.  I still put him on the floor if he gets ornery with me but ninety nine percent of the time, he stays in his corner all night long and does not bother me in the mornings.  It took us both time to get used to each other but now I would not have it any other way. It's especially nice when I tuck my cold feet beside him and he lays back on them.  Ahh...

I think one thing that makes our arrangement agreeable is the thick full sized pillow that is always beside me.  Nikki doesn't like stepping on the pillow and he knows taking up my wiggle room is uncomfortable for him, so the only uncontested spot on my bed is the far corner. It's a relatively small sleeping space but once he gets in his corner, he barely moves for the rest of the night.  Things would be different if I had a significant other though. 

Trying to fit two people and a two foot long, thirty pound cairn in a queen sized bed is darn near impossible.  i took Nikki's Serta dog bed and extra blankets with us when Mom and I went on a day trip last year, letting him nap with us until he took up too much of my space. Then on the floor he went, with a treat and scratch to make up for the relocation. A grunt, pacing, and much bed scratching later, he settled in his bed and we all tried to get as much sleep as we can in the new environment before a noise sent him barking. Fun... Everything sets off the loud alert bark, and leaving him alone in the room or car still results in barking and screeching.  Hence the reason why I prefer leaving him with a sitter when we're away for more than a night. Nobody's perfect. Lol

Edited February 8, 2016 by Lupinegirl