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Dempsy's Mom
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I love dogs, but that really doesn't mean I want them all in the house.  My daughter brings her 3 dogs and I adjust and they all get along, but she only stays for a couple of days.  Jim's son is here helping us and he has decided to bring his whole family for a month including Daisy the golden lab.

 

Really? :confused1: a month - during planting time - of which we are behind due to the rain.  Crap.  I can't very well say no although I would like to.  Last night was the first night with Daisy.  Sweet golden lab.  Dempsy and Elsie seem to get along fine with her.  The cat? No.  Daisy squats and marks the carpet so she feels more at home.  Then she runs the yard marking every two feet.

 

I let Demps and Els out this morning for the morning business and the were so busy remarking that I could barely get them back in the house.  Jim asks, "Where's the mutts?"  My response, "Busy smelling Daisies."  :lol:

 

Seth is not a responsible pet owner, but he isn't the worst either.  I told him to tell me when Daisy has an accident so I can get it cleaned, but I really don't see that happening.  Right now it is just Seth and Daisy.  In about a week the other 4 will arrive. (who I really don't know) and throw another graduation in the middle of it.  Crap.  Crap.  Crap.  A week I could handle, but I am not real sure of a month.  And I have no idea how Seth plans on handling Daisy when we are all out in the field.  How do you all handle visitors dogs for a long period of time?  (Deep breaths)

Edited by Dempsy's Mom

Elsie, Max, Meeko & Lori

 

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It is warm enough now to keep the Golden in a shed or barn when no one is around, right? Too bad you don't have an outside kennel. Where did Wert stay?

I guess if the dog is marking in the house - and giving my dogs bad ideas - I would speak up and saw it could not go on. Even with family.

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I just let Daisy inside for a minute and Elsie took after her.  She is running around the farm and I feel bad for her because the highway is right there.  I hate extra stress.  I do have a kennel and I will offer it to him, but it's not like he doesn't see it..  And we have lots of barns, but Seth is a touchy person and he has never been told "No".  I told him that once and it was pretty quiet for a couple days.  I came from a small family and we weren't very social.  I am not a coddler and I never will be so this will be an interesting month. 

 

And here is the kicker - in July I get to spend another whole week with the entire Orris family.  Oh joy.  :)

 

Who knows Kathryn - I may be moving to Minnesota. :)

Elsie, Max, Meeko & Lori

 

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This is a tough situation to comment on because all family dynamics are different. The only thing I can offer from my own experience is as follows: There are any number of canines in my extended family and when visiting takes place between us, the phrase, "house rules" often comes up. We have our own "house rules" re dog visitors and others have theirs, and it is a given that the rules must be mutually respected. If not, the offending party hears from all of us to "shape up" :nono: ... sort of a public shaming. The best we can resort to is this kind of persuasion, without starting World War III. Although this works for us, it may not work for those with less cooperative family members.

 

Clearly and firmly stating these rules, without emotion or anger is only the first resort. Unfortunately, if that falls on deaf ears, all bets are off! :(  

Edited by sanford
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FEAR THE CAIRN!

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Exactly.  And that's the problem.  Jim has 6 children from 2 different families.  We have no children together.  Jim is not a parent.  He sits there and listens to me and agrees, but that's it.  That's why Seth has a problem with "No" - he never heard it.  Pretty much played the divorced child act to the tee. 

 

I like the house rules approach.  That's kinda what my daughter and I do.  I respect her rules and she respects mine and if there is a problem we can address it without an issue, but that's because I am her parent and she has heard "No" many times.  Oh well - this too shall pass.  It helps just talking with you guys and then I don't feel like such a B----.  Sometimes in these situations you feel out numbered - like you are the one with the problem.  That's exactly how they want you to feel, so you need to out maneuver them, out think them, be ready at all times, which by itself is exhausting.

Elsie, Max, Meeko & Lori

 

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I say Yes on the house rules!  Especially if the guests are going to be there for a month - maybe write them down and post so everyone can see?  That way there would be no misinterpreting the rules....Is Daisy not neutered?  These mixed families are so difficult because of all the dynamics and emotions.  Why are they staying for a month?

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Pepper's Mom

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Idaho Cairns

Well, this is ticklish, Fran and I combined two families and all the children are now grown and all are dog owners so when they come to visit their dogs usually come as well.  Fortunately for us, almost all of those seven families are responsible dog owners and their dogs are, for the most part, well trained. 
Only one of those children live out of the area, my daughter, married to an Air Force officer, lives in California and has three dogs, only one of which is a Cairn.  When they vacation or Matt is deployed over seas, my daughter will often ask us to either babysit her dogs in her home or bring them here for care so she can travel to be with her husband for vacations.  Fortunately her dogs are extremely well behaved and create far less stress, mentally or emotionally than some of the grandkids--easier to take care of too!
One of our DIL's  (the widow of the son we lost last year) has a pitbull,  which we were very reluctant to bring into our home but he has turned out to be a sweetheart of a dog so is now welcomed and enjoyed here.
The key is, I think, how well trained our dogs, Sammi and Bonnie, are--they have been taught to respect the visiting dogs' space and habits so we have no problem with them and other dogs.  Most fortunately most of the granddogs are trained as well with the exception of two very annoying and loud Snauzers (damn I'll never know why this breed exists!) that are fortunately infrequent visitors, our dogs all get along famously--here or "there". 
I think the key is simply to be honest with your kids--we have had to suggest that some of the kids NOT bring their dogs to the house in the past because of behavior problems associated with poor training on the kids' part and that is tough to do but it has resulted in some of the children and or their spouses, taking the time to train their dogs a bunch better with the results that we can now have sizable family gatherings with lots of kids and dogs without a bunch of disruption or annoyance.

Edited by Idaho Cairns
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A month?  Well that's another can of worms.  Seth is unemployed and is a bit of a drifter.  I am hoping that he stays in Phoenix but I know he'd like to live in South Dakota. Another bridge that we won't cross till it's time.  Keep the matches handy. Seth is a nice man (cuter than cute) just a bit rough and at times inconsiderate and pushy. And yes at times quite stupid - I say this because he is an avid hunter and keeps loaded guns in his house with 3 children and yes, I have voiced my opinion to both he and Jim but Seth is 32 years old.  So our communication is usual kept to nonissue matters.  And his wife is also nice but comes from a different world.

 

Neutered?  I never asked.  I will.   This is just day one. .... and I have it marked off the calendar.

Elsie, Max, Meeko & Lori

 

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My experience with yellow labs is that they are very unhappy if they pee in the house...maybe Daisy has an undiagnosed UTI which is causing all the peeing?  This is horrible!!!  Sounds like Seth and wife are idiots.  Sorry.

Pepper's Mom

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They are just different.  Seth was very young when his parents divorced and there wasn't much guidance there.  No excuses at 32 though.  Daisy is lying at my feet as I type.  She reminds me so much of Digger.  She is a little more relaxed tonight. Golden Labs are so pretty.  Seth had her with him most of the day. Elsie is in the room with us and she seems to accept the company.  I try just to take a day at a time.

Elsie, Max, Meeko & Lori

 

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I say we play telephone of sorts. We are going to build the house rules for Lori. When they are done Lori can post them at all entrances and especially on the fridge. Let's begin:

 

:cop: !!!!MY HOUSE!!!! :soap: !!!!MY RULES!!!! :cop:

 

Ignoring any of the below rules will get you banished to the barn for the rest of your stay and you will be eating cow chips for breakfast, I'll provide the sterno for cooking. Lunch and dinner you will have figure out for yourself.

 

1. No loud farting. (that includes your canine companion and anyone else that came with you). Silent farting is also discouraged, otherwise known as SBD (silent but deadly).

 

2. Dog pee or poo in MY HOUSE will be cleaned immediately and I will be notified of such activity so I can supervise the cleaning to my satisfaction.

 

Someone else's turn. Add them as you think of them....

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Sassy Jan 22, 2005

 

AM. CH. THARRBARR LITE MY FIRE ZOMERHOF

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3.  My dogs come first.  Failure of your dog(s) to observe proper dog pack etiquette will result in the above-mentioned banishment to the barn.

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We get a lot of company in the summer because we live on a big lake. Friends and family often bring their dogs and we definitely have house rules. You can bring your dog but it's MY dogs' house. If the visiting dog bothers my dogs too much, they are kept behind a baby gate and they don't get invited back. Also, if a dog pees or marks in the house, you clean it up immediately and I'll suggest doggie diapers. One accident I might accept but repeated is not acceptable. I let my dogs on the furniture but if your dog is big, I don't allow that. I also ask everyone to crate their dog in their room when we we go out to dinner or something.

It's hard when it's family and especially if there haven't been rules before. Hopefully Daisy will settle in and be a good visitor soon. Good luck!

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Jandy and my Cairns, Kirby & Phinney 
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Dogs (and their families) understand our house rules which are the same as kjwarnold. Clean up after your dogs. Keep them under control. Otherwise crate them, kennel them (we have facilities) or board them and don't bring them.

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Wow Lori, what tough situation.  I'm familiar with being the "out" party in a scenario where one's divorced

spouse doesn't have custody and does nothing in the way of suggesting or correcting his kids...twice.

One time I was actually married; was supposed to marry the second one.  I think those kids

took care of that!  (And I'm forever grateful. :D )

 

It's too bad about the peeing problem, because Daisy sounds like a sweetie in general.  I'm of the

same mind with whoever mentioned UTI...not so much because of eliminating in the house,

but because of how much marking this female pup wants to do outside.  Daisy may very

well need medical attention.

 

Meanwhile, I'm also onboard with Dave and the rest of the gang as far as setting down house rules,

and making sure Jim is involved.  You'll need it to preserve your sanity!

 

Just keep on posting.  We'll be reading and sympathizing.

 

Tara

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Max and Nelly
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You have my utmost respect to be able to handle this situation with such grace.....I would never be able to hold it together once a visiting dog peed in my house. :banned:​   That is so not acceptable but I do understand your situation.  I will be thinking of you as the days and weeks go by and hopefully once the month is over, you are still holding it together somewhat.... :w00t:

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I agree with house rules for the dogs and humans. I'll also add that a week is a vacation for the person staying a month your gonna work right by side me. 

I'm a Southerner I wait on some one hand and foot, cook the big meals the works, if they choose to vacate at my house, but a month they would definitely be pitching in, no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

My opinion, my house my rules. 

 

Good luck with the company..

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4. My place, my way, or for you grown child, the highway.

We never had children so I must admit I have no patience with selfish adult children or rude young ones. A month...oh Lordy I think I would be moving out to the cow shed with Demps and Elsie..and Kitty! Let Jim deal with the mess.

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Until one has loved an animal, a part of  one's soul remains unawakened.  - Anatole France

Adventures with Sam &Rosie

 

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OK - it's been a crazy couple of days.  Just came back from a field 40 miles away. Trying to beat the rain.  Seth has been keeping Daisy out in the shop while he's gone instead of leaving her loose.  Dempsy has fallen in love with Daisy.  It really is cute to see Demps following Daisy around just like he did Digger. :wub: Makes me miss Dig. No more accidents - that I know of - but I am out in the tractor and last night I went right to bed without even eating so who knows what goes on until I catch up with it. Kitty and Daisy do not get along. The dog is growing on me - Daisy is really trying to be a good dog and Dempsy is helping her.  I will have to get a pic some time.  I haven't asked about the rest of the family - I figure I will hear about it soon enough and I have enough on my plate.  The men aren't in yet -  so Demps, Els and I will hit the hay.

 

Great comments and suggestions.  Cow shed might be a good option. 

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Elsie, Max, Meeko & Lori

 

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Good boy, Dempsey, for helping your guest learn the ropes and rules! We know you love the critters, So it's not surprising that Dsisy is growing on you. Hang in there, this part of the farming season will be done soon.

I was thinking about you yesterday as I was cooking banana bread, brownies, scrambled egg muffins, pasta salad and fruit salad for our four guests arriving today. I'm also one of those people who goes all out for guests but when it's close friends or family, I expect everyone to pitch in and help. Kitchen clean-up, taking turns preparing meals (although it kills me to let others loose in my kitchen!), or helping outside are all options. Sounds like the son is helping on the farm, maybe the wife and kids will help in the house.

Just think how much you'll appreciate the quiet when they are all finally gone!

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Jandy and my Cairns, Kirby & Phinney 
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Agree.  Sometimes things are thrown at you for a reason - we just don't know what it is till it has passed. 

Elsie, Max, Meeko & Lori

 

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