Who will take my dogs when I'm gone?

[hheldorfer]

DH and I met with an attorney a few weeks ago to discuss our will(s).  Among other vexing questions, he raised the issue of care/ownership of our pets when we are gone.  I know we have had this discussion previously on the forum, but we have lots of newer members who may or may not have considered this dilemma.  

 

We also spoke to the attorney about financial power of attorney, health care power of attorney, an executor for our estate ("estate" makes it sound like we actually have something, doesn't it? ) and other issues.  Oddly, the issue that has given us the most trouble is the question "Who will take your pets when you are gone?".  We have agonized over it and are no closer to an answer.

 

Mind you, neither of us is planning to check out any time soon but we will both feel better once this question is resolved.  I'm wondering what arrangements have been made by other members on the forum.  (By the way, we already considered the kids:  DH has two sons - one isn't particularly fond of the dogs and the other is married to a woman who is allergic to them.)   

Edited August 17, 2014 by hheldorfer

[Hillscreek]

I have had to think about this for a while as I am getting on in years and live alone.

 

My will does not specify care of dogs but immediate members of my family and Angus's breeder and his groomer that he boards with all know what to do. His groomer/boarder will take him temporarily if a sudden emergency eg I have stroke, car accident.... whatever.

My daughter has POA and lives nearby.

Family members are few and for various reasons almost certainly would not be able to take him. Plus I do not want them to feel they have to take him. 

I expect he would go back to his breeder who has agreed to this and would keep him till she found a good home for him. I keep in regular contact with her and update her on his progress.

He is a fine healthy outgoing little pal and I like to think he would give some other folks a lot of pleasure just like he does me.

 

I hope these arrangements will prevent him being scooped up and sent to the pound - really hate to think that could happen. Or maybe perhaps just as bad given to whoever may want such a cute little guy. He is friends with whoever he meets but it could be a different story when there was a clash of wills and his cairnite personality came to the fore with someone who didn't understand him.

 

No one knows what will happen after one is gone but I want to try to do the best for his future. 

Edited August 18, 2014 by Hillscreek

[Sam I Am]

The saddest thing is to see an old dog stuck in a rescue facility because the owners could not look after it or they had died. As pet owners we have to name a responsible person in our will to take care of our animals. We have always had the horse(s) and dog(s) in our will, with money to go with the animals for its care. One of our friends has stipulated that if for some reason the person named cannot look after the critters, that her animals be humanely euthanized. Sounds awful but really I would rather have that happen than think our beloved dogs and other animals fall into bad care, to grow old not being loved, fed or cared for properly.

[_whits_]

I got Addie from a Cairn rescue and there seem to only be two types of dogs that end up in that rescue: 1) puppy mill dogs and 2) dogs whose owners didn't make a plan in case of their deaths. I'm heartened to see people on this forum taking this seriously. 

 

I'm young (late 20s), but you never know when disaster will strike. I've spoken frequently with my parents about taking Addie in my absence. I have also asked them that if they are too old or if something happens to them, to please send Addie to her foster mom. The foster mom would either take Addie herself or guarantee she found a good home. My brother is allergic to dogs and my sister loves dogs but her own spend far too much time in crates while she works for me to send Addie to her. 

 

P.S. I am serious in saying that I would whole-heartedly take in any of your Cairns in a worst-case scenario, if there was no one better suited to it. You guys are like family and your Cairns deserve to be loved the way you would love them. 

[pkcrossley]

 

making a provision in the will (possibly via a trust) for financial care of surviving pets is much easier and simpler than actually identifying real people to take custody, but both must be done. if you create a trust, pets can remain in the possession of the trust to the end of their lives, which means that the trustee -- friends or family (or people designated by them)-- would technically foster them and the trust pay their expenses; in that event, they can never be given away without permission of the trust (or you can just specify that they can never be given away), and of course can not be sold. that still leaves the question of just who will take them into the home. it is best to discuss it with prospective carers now and then specify them in the will. very difficult and sad, but it is the only way to take care of little friends.

[Malcolm's Dad]

PK has some excellent advice. Sometimes pets need expensive medical care. The person one may want to take the pet might not have the financial resources.

[hheldorfer]

I should have mentioned that we also discussed a trust with the attorney.  But it still leaves the question of "Who?"  I also realize that Buffy and Ziggy will probably no longer be with us when the will is executed but I am fairly certain we will always have a dog, at least as long as we are living in our home.

[Hillscreek]

As to who the dog(s) go to you just have to do the best you can talking with who might take them. Who might say they want them might not necessarily be the best person to have them. People act emotionally.

There's unfortunately no way to know what will exactly happen to our pets after we pass on.

A trust may pay for care - will it also pay for a loving home? 

We don't like to think about death and thanks go to hheldorfer for reminding us of the the need to think about it and make provision for our buddies as best we can.

[hheldorfer]

As to who the dog(s) go to you just have to do the best you can talking with who might take them. Who might say they want them might not necessarily be the best person to have them.

 

This subject has come up too.  Some people think "Oh, they're just two little dogs.  Of *course* I could take them in!" but, as we all know, they still need attention, exercise, proper nutrition, vet visits, grooming, etc.. 

 

It's a classic catch-22:  The people who currently have the time and resources to care for our dogs are *our* age and thus in the same situation as us.  The younger people we know have too much going on in their lives and, despite their generous offers of help, probably have no idea what it takes to keep the Terrible Terrier Twins happy and healthy.

[sanford]

Thank you for raising this very vital issue!

 

I adopted Carrington, my first cairn from a cairn rescue organization. I now have Ruffy, who I got at a no-kill shelter in upstate NY. Over the years, I've kept in touch with, and given donations to both organizations. 

 

hheldorfer's post prompts me to contact these organizations to see if either one would take Ruffy in the (hopefully unlikely) event that I am no longer able to care for him. Based on my experience with both places, I trust that they would effectively screen appropriate candidates for my cairn. I will also speak to my vet to see if he would foster Ruffy until he found a good home for him, (and what he might charge for doing so).

Edited August 18, 2014 by sanford

[sanford]

 

He is friends with whoever he meets but it could be a different story when there was a clash of wills and his cairnite personality came to the fore with someone who didn't understand him.

This is an excellent point, and it describes Ruffy to a tee! ( I wonder how common this is with other cairns).

 

I've always found this personality trait of Ruffy to be very amusing, but in the context of the issue being discussed here, it is very worrisome to me. For everyone's benefit, it would have to be made known to whatever person or organization Ruffy is transferred to.

Edited August 18, 2014 by sanford

[sanford]

P.S. I am serious in saying that I would whole-heartedly take in any of your Cairns in a worst-case scenario, if there was no one better suited to it. You guys are like family and your Cairns deserve to be loved the way you would love them. 

I am truly amazed and impressed with your generous heart and spirit!   

 

It prompts me to wonder if a network of like-minded folks might be set up,   either on this site, (but only with bradl's approval), or as a separate site. The reasons to have such a network are easy to understand... For starters, we all know and care about each other and each others' cairns... the list of good reasons goes on & on. However, there might also be drawbacks or pitfalls as well,  but I'll leave them to others to address.

[hheldorfer]

Sanford, what an excellent idea!  I would guess that such a network should be separate from the forum itself for legal reasons.  Maybe Brad could provide guidance?

 

My personal quandary regarding the "disposition" of Buffy and Ziggy is made more difficult because a) Cairns are a breed not truly understood by those who have not lived with one, and  despite their squabbles, Buffy and Ziggy would be heartsick if they were separated from each other.

 

The thought that there would be *somewhere* for these dogs to go if all else failed - and a "somewhere" with Terrier people who know the breed - would make it easier for me to sleep at night.

 

I will continue my search for a fitting guardian.  Again, the chances of this decision affecting Buffy & Ziggy are remote, but it's high time DH and I got this settled. 

Edited August 18, 2014 by hheldorfer

[kieiras mom]

A topic none of us want to think about, but is so important.DH is 2 years older than I am and I am many year older than many on this forum Must give this some careful thought. Thanks for reminding us of this.

[Dempsy's Mom]

I like that idea too, Sanford.  I would be willing to care for any of the members cairns.  And as for loving them, well that's a no brainer.  Put me on the guardian list.   It would be an honor.

 

My daughter would find homes for my animals.  Since she is into fostering I trust her judgment.

Edited August 19, 2014 by Dempsy's Mom

[bradl]

This is a truly important topic. Being responsible owners requires that we make every reasonable effort to ensure the well-being of our dogs.  

 

I love the instinct to extend the community in the ways suggested above, but that comes down to placing of specific dogs and that's very likely to remain verboten, no matter the reason.  Or to be more accurate, it must remain in PM or back-channel email. There is no reason that relationships made here cannot exist or develop on parallel channels or IRL (in real life).

 

I know this is a troublesome guideline — unfathomable to many — but please accept that I have Reasons for what amounts to a zero tolerance policy on placements.  Please don't think I don't understand  or appreciate the importance or urgency of the many circumstances in which placement discussions would logically take place. This is simply not that place. 

 

p.s.

 

Of course I do indeed revisit and reconsider this policy frequently.  I "never say never" but so far all the evidence has been that it's necessary and beneficial for the health and continuity of this forum overall.

 

I also believe that other resources will be able to do it better. For example, I will be very interested to watch the development of overstock's pet adoption project.  I was horrified at first ("Overstock?" Really?) But the more I think about it, the more I think they may have the scale, reach, and resources to provide a level of oversight and integration that just might do some good, particularly if they can objectively manage integrations with the many and varied individual rescue groups.

[eastofeden]

On this topic...please...please pick carefully and make sure that the person designated to take your animals understands and is prepared to follow your wishes. 

 

This last spring I had a very dear friend pass away suddenly and unexpectedly.  She had a friend with whom she had asked in passing to take her dog..but they never formally discussed it.  Upon my friends death...her other friend for personal reasons was unable to take the dog.  

 

Instead the dog was placed with strangers..whom I am sure are very good to him.  But he was also a very high level performance dog with titles in multiple disciplines.  He thrived in performing and training.  This is a dog that needs a job.  This little dog was the love of my friends life & I know she would have wished for him to continue in dog sports...it breaks my heart to see all the time and effort that was spent in training of this dog go by the wayside.  He is now essentially a couch ornament.  

 

My children have explicit instructions about my dogs...and if for some reason they are not in a position to care for them, they have specific names of people to contact who would ensure that my dogs find a home that I would have approved of.  

[hheldorfer]

Thanks for your input Brad.  We understand that there are limits to the purposes/uses of this forum.  

[mom42terrificgirls]

This is a real good thought-provoking question. We are getting ready to work on our wills, so thanks for the reminder.

[LindaMC]

There's a You-Tube video going around the internet about a little dog named Woody, who's owner died and the owners family sold the house and left Woody behind to fend for himself  Woody waited under a porch in the area for a year before being rescued and by then he was filthy, matted and starving, although the neighbors tried their best to feed him whenever they could.  It's heartbreaking to think of this dog trying to survive for an entire year out there all alone.  I'm sure the owner never thought this would happen to his or her dog either.  Thankfully Eldad, from Hope for Paws stepped in and saved this little guy.  This is why it's so very important to know for sure that you dog will be safely taken care of once your are gone.

 

Very important subject.

[Dempsy's Mom]

That story is heartbreaking and very uncomfortable.  I hate abandonment.