How do you handle it

[arseovrteakettl]

This site has helped me so much ever since I got Fuzz, with the various trials and tribulations of cairn ownership.  But I am brokenhearted and I just cry all the time when I know that other little cairns have suffered or been lost.

 

Just looking at Jock's last picture never fails to make me cry, and now with Roux's death, I am crying almost as if she were my own.  And I worried about Holly - again -  almost as if she is my own.

 

I did not join a golden retriever forum because it was so active (there being so many of them) and there was so much illness and accident and tragedy. 

 

Does anyone else get like this?

[Dempsy's Mom]

It's hard to see our friends in despair of any kind.  It hurts.  You fret and worry and try anything to help them, but you have got to remember that they know you love them, they know that you are trying to help and they are so thankful that you are there with them.  It's just life and sharing your love with a dog comes with this price. .... sharing your love with anyone comes with this price. The dogs we are blessed with are also blessed with us.  Just look at the dogs out there that have no love.  They would give their eye teeth to have us.

 

So just love them and cherish them and make every day count and when you have bad days you'll get through them and when you have the final days your heart will ache like crazy, the tears will run, your nerves will of had it, weeks will go by and you will miss them, years will go by and you will remember them.  It's the cycle of life - but never be afraid to love a dog.  Never be afraid to love.  Even though it will hurt someday - all the days filled with fun counts big time.

 

Yes, I hurt for little Roux, so young.  Holly is in good hands with mum - I mean wow what a mom.  Swimming in the pool and now the chariot - I wouldn't mind being loved by Holly's mum.  And Jock - what a great life he had and I am almost jealous of the love he had.  I think you are all the best a dog could ask for!!!  

 

PS:  I was just walking by Demps.  I stopped and stroked him and gave him a hug.  He soaked it right up.  He likes those spontaneous hugs.

Edited June 2, 2014 by Dempsy's Mom

[hheldorfer]

The losses we have suffered have hit me hard as well.  I imagine just about everyone here has felt the same way as you, arseovrteakettl. After all, that's why we're here - to help each other get through the bad times and celebrate the good ones. Dempsy's Mom said it perfectly: 

 

"So just love them and cherish them and make every day count and when you have bad days you'll get through them and when you have the final days your heart will ache like crazy, the tears will run, your nerves will of had it, weeks will go by and you will miss them, years will go by and you will remember them.  It's the cycle of life - but never be afraid to love a dog.  Never be afraid to love.  Even though it will hurt someday - all the days filled with fun counts big time."

 

Beautiful words.

[tlwtheq]

Well said.  And we are a support group, everybody for everyone.

[Autumn & Lola]

The losses we have suffered have hit me hard as well.  I imagine just about everyone here has felt the same way as you, arseovrteakettl. After all, that's why we're here - to help each other get through the bad times and celebrate the good ones. Dempsy's Mom said it perfectly: 

 

"So just love them and cherish them and make every day count and when you have bad days you'll get through them and when you have the final days your heart will ache like crazy, the tears will run, your nerves will of had it, weeks will go by and you will miss them, years will go by and you will remember them.  It's the cycle of life - but never be afraid to love a dog.  Never be afraid to love.  Even though it will hurt someday - all the days filled with fun counts big time."

 

Beautiful words.

 

I had not yet scrolled down to your post and had copied the same paragraph from Lori's post and was about to paste it. Wow. Just wow.

[josie&holly]

Lori's words are beautiful......

I am not a super mum to Holly, I just believe when you take on the commitment of a dog then you care for it as best you can.

I get angry when I read about people abandoning or having dogs rehomed because they are ill or old!

It upsets me to read that a young pup like Roux can die like he did, it upsets me to know that an older dog dies like Jock. I feel that not only do you have to care and love them whilst tney are with you but it is good to remember them when they are no longer with you.

[Sam I Am]

Oh Lori hit the nail right on the head. To love something deeply is to also feel the loss deeply. Even as I type this I have tears running down my cheek, but for me I cherish all the amazing times Jock shared with me, the utter devotion and love he gave me. Would I have wishes I never had him.. ..no way. I hope I still cry years from now remembering him because it's proof of the amazing bond we had. Holly has a loving and devoted family, no dog could ask for more. And yes illness comes to all that live, and little Roux had such a short time on this earth, but I know if you asked his Mum if she wished that he had never come into her life, I pretty much guarantee that she would vehemently tell you that she treasured the time they had. And yes I totally get it, but that's why I joined this forum. To share the joys, great pictures and videos, but also to find such an amazing group of like minded people that love their Cairns and other animals, and support you in all the sadness, illnesses and losses with support and without shame of loving a four legged animals as much as your fellow human being.

[tlwtheq]

Another insight, if you will.  I've often commented on this forum that my Teddy Bear, born in 2002, seems to be

"channeling" my Shadow who expired in 2002.   Like other experiences recounted in our circle of friends,

it wasn't an expected passing.  So to get back to the present, I walked into the kitchen just a few

minutes ago to make myself some Crystal Light.  Teddy was close on my heels.  I turned around

and said, "No food to be had right this minute, Shadow!"  (Oops.)

Shadow is still here with me after all these years.  They never leave your consciousness.

None of them ever do.

Love you Shadow.

Edited June 2, 2014 by tlwtheq

[pkcrossley]

it is like all the generic questions of love and companionship are concentrated in these intense little people. loss is terrible, devastating, but they give so much, and loving them is an honor. a sudden death of such a precious little angel as roux is the worst loss we can imagine, yet each of these dogs was going to live their lives, long or short, somewhere --how can we regret that they lived with us? if they suffer, if they die, at least we know that we were there to offer what comfort was possible. and the memories are ours forever. in my case, i don't believe it is only memories. i believe all who love their dogs will be reunited with them. i don't know how it happens, but it seems obvious that it does. in my wishes all these excellent people live long, fortunate lives and die without a whimper. but if every dog was assured such good fortune, they wouldn't need us. we all know what roux's mom is going through. if only that was a help!

[arseovrteakettl]

There is already rather a herd of dogs and cats waiting for me.

 

I haven't always done this, but I do have the ashes for Annie, Walter and Joey.  When I die I will ask my daughter to mix all the ashes together with mine.  Then she can do as she chooses, but I hope she will put them a bit at a time in places that mean something to her, and save some of them to mix with hers.

Edited June 3, 2014 by arseovrteakettl

[Sam I Am]

Yup...Jocks ashes are hitching a ride with mine too.

[Dempsy's Mom]

Good idea. 

[Roux's Mom]

Just received a card from a friend that says:

 

Good dogs are with us for a little while to teach us how to love like it's our job ... because it is.

 

Couldn't say it better. As brokenhearted as I am over the loss of my little Roux, I wouldn't trade one minute of the time we had together to be hurting less right now. I have loved and lost other animals, some quite painfully, but none as young as Roux and none I was as emotionally invested in. She was more than just my dog. I don't know if it's a cairn thing or was just Roux, but as I was telling a friend last night, she wasn't just a part of my life, as other dogs have been, she WAS my life. She did that, insisted on that, demanded nothing less. I feel her loss as keenly as if losing a human I loved. I consider myself blessed to have had her in my life and to have experienced that sort of bond with an animal.

 

PS: I framed the card.

[bradl]

I should frame your post. I don't know how we handle it, but that is surely why I must, can, and will.

[pkcrossley]

i think it might be a little bit a cairn thing. i am so glad you found some comfort in the card. you were blessed to have her, and her time with you is yours forever. 

[Sam I Am]

"With eye upraised his master's look to scan, The joy, the solace, and the aid of man: The rich man's guardian and the poor man's friend, The only creature faithful to the end." (George Crabbe)

[Lupinegirl]

While thinking about my heartache over some of my losses, both human and animal, I thought of this line, which is similar to something I've seen published on-line but I don't remember the source:

I want to be the type of person that, when I get to heaven, my dog will come running with tongue lolling and fur flying and the happiest grin on his face like he is saying "that's my person! That's my person! I'm so glad you're here!" I don't want to be the type of person that my dog will look at and say "Oh. You're here." and walk away from. To be loved with no reserve is the greatest gift anyone can receive, and to love without reserve is the greatest gift anyone can give. To both give and receive love like that, and form a bond that is inseparable by distance or time, is the ultimate joy in life.

[Malcolm's Dad]

Like others mentioned Dempsy's Mom said it so well. My jaw dropped when I read about Roux. We know our pets will leave someday but not so young. The good people on the forum try to ease the grief when one loses a pet. We are fortunate to have each other.

[beccadiane374]

Thank you to Lupinegirl for your quote.  A friend of mine just lost her cairn, Mickey, on Saturday, from a large aggressive tumor that hemorrhaged and was bleeding out.  She had only had him since October, but she and her family (they have 2 small children) were very attached to him & adored him.  That quote is perfect and I just shared it with her.

 

These little ones sure take up a big space in our hearts.

 

And tonight, I shall cuddle Tanner a little closer....