Redmon

[pkcrossley]

Friends,

I know you know how hard this is for me to write. Redmon had a beautiful Christmas and all looked good for his immediate future. But the next day he began experiencing seizures. A local clinic put him on a barbiturate drip to try to control them, and we transferred him to the Massachusetts Veterinary Referral Hospital still on the drip. At Massachusetts they also tried everything to get the seizures under control. At 6AM this morning he stopped breathing and could not be revived. Three days ago he was comfortable, happy and getting stronger. Everybody tried their best to save him, but nature took its course.

Redmon was born October 19, 2000 at a fancy-sounding place in Indiana that was a puppy mill. His papers indicated that he came from a line of predominantly red brindle cairns. I saw him in a local pet shop (which no longer sells animals). I noticed him in there for weeks. He had got to the size where he was not particularly cute --ears and feet too big, bouncy and barky. Other puppies all around him went to homes, but he was left in his glass cage, and eventually only laid down and looked into space. I asked the staff what would become of him, since he was the age where he needed to be socialized. They shrugged and said he would be sent to a more down-scale store, and perhaps his price marked down, till he sold. After that, vague. I was not looking for a dog, as I had a mature, blind shih-tzu at home. But I ransomed him, gave him one of my mother's family names, and took him home.

He was terrible in all the ways that only four-month old cairns can be. He was selfish and impatient in the way of neglected dogs, and pushy and bitey when he did not get his way. His energy was unbelievable, he almost literally ran up the walls. For a long time he made life miserable for my shih-tzu. But he showed amazing qualities.

At the time he was adopted I usually ate my breakfast at the back of the house, in a chair, and I usually had English muffins. He wanted my breakfast and demanded it in various very rude ways, each of which was corrected. Then one day as I was raising the first muffin half, I heard him barking frantically from the front of the house. I put the breakfast down and went out to look where he was pointing. Nothing. I said something reassuring and went back to my breakfast. Frantic barking again. I went to look again, and there was nothing again, and the thought crossed my mind that this was probably a clever ploy to get me away from my breakfast. But when I looked down, expecting to see nothing, he was sitting there panting curiously at me. I shrugged, said something reassuring, and went back to breakfast. I had no sooner sat down than the barking started again. Now I was actually curious. I went out and looked, and when I turned to him to say something reassuring yet again. He was gone. Of course when I got back to my breakfast, he was sitting in my chair with the crumbs of my English muffin all over his face. The subtlety of the whole plot was astounding to me. He was four months old.

I let him play with a trunk full of old dog things while i worked in my office. When I would come out of the office for various reasons I would see what he was up to. He had taken all the items and carefully separated them by abstract features. Large flat things --coats and jackets, towels, some bedding-- he put into one pile. Hard and small things --leash handles, chew toys, collars-- he put into another pile. That sort of gave me chills, so I went back to work. When I came out again, I saw an amazing scene. He had a stuffed animal we called "Lambie," about as big as he was. He would usually grab it by the snout and make sure Lambie went where he went. Somehow he decided that he would take some of the old coats and towels and spread them on the floor of the sunroom so that he could sort of sunbathe. He was stretched out on an old flat coat --and Lambie was stretched out on an old towel beside him. That was when I knew that our little monster had a heart of gold.

Over the years due to training, and just love, Redmon lost his rough edges and became a wonderful friend and companion. He was one of those cairns --there are many-- whom strangers start to talk to upon meeting them. They are convinced that the dogs understand them, and maybe they do. He had the knack of a steady, attentive gaze, complete with the head tilt at appropriate moments. He made many friends of his own, who are mourning today. His grandparents, too, loved him very deeply, and Redmon was a devoted follower of his grandpa. He became a true man of the house, and had a nightly ritual, if a noise from outside disturbed him, of making me patrol with him. He would lead me to each window and have me look out. After I had reported that all was well, he would lead me to the next window and have me look out and report, and so on. Only after we had completed the round would he allow us to lie down again and go to sleep. He was also the self-appointed sheriff for keeping cats in the house, and even in the last week of his life practiced his full-force blocking tactics on one of the wayward tabbies trying to make a bolt for the door.

Redmon figured, as the handsome wheaten cairn wearing a bell, in Katie's narrative of Teddy coming home. Redmon would have liked to be the kind of big brother who gets to teach a lesson or two or lay down the law once in a while. Unfortunately he never got the chance. When Redmon himself was the younger brother, he was required to always go second and always give way to his older brother, an old blind shah-tsu. But when Redmon became the older brother, he was required once again to be deferential and give way --another blind brother. He must have wondered if all the dogs in the world have blind brothers. He bore it all with fairly good humor, though there were times when his sense of righteous cairn social code nearly got the better of him. Once Teddy got used to associating Redmon's smell and the sound of his paws with his presence, we put the bell away. But Redmon wore the bell again the last month of his life, to alert me to any seizures he might be having. In the last weeks of his life Redmon cuddled Teddy as if Teddy were his own child, a remarkable and in a way frightening change, as Redmon seemed to know a great deal about what was to come.

For most of his life Redmon was in robust health, but in 2010, he was diagnosed with "atypical Cushings," after a battery of tests (everything except MRI) indicated no real cause for his Cushings-like symptoms. I now know that this was the point at which we should in fact have sought an MRI. Cushings is almost always caused by a pituitary tumor, perhaps very small, and the only reason we did not seek MRI at the time was because his symptoms were not totally compatible with Cushings and were explained by "atypical Cushings," a different disease. In 2011 he came down with what looked for all the world like the symptoms of a ruptured disk, and even the neurologists were satisfied for a time with the diagnosis. But when there was no improvement I insisted on the MRI, which revealed that a large pituitary tumor was pushing cerebral-spinal fluid down his spinal canal. As a result, the last two years of Redmon's life were interrupted by a variety of medical procedures, all of which he bore fairly stoically, given that he had a profound phobia of everything veterinary.

After his round of radiation in 2011 Redmon had a spectacular recovery and enjoyed a solid year of perfect health. Statistically his period of good quality should have lasted significantly longer. In December of this year his health crashed again and he had his first grand mal seizure. It was confirmed that his tumor had returned to its original size and even enlarged slightly. He seemed like a good candidate for a second round of radiation. This is very unusual, and while the results of the first round are well known, second-round radiation is still a frontier. In Redmon's case, there was nothing to lose, since he was so sick by the middle of December that without treatment there was no hope. Radiation is not uncomfortable for dogs, as the doses used are always for palliation only and never to achieve a "cure," as in humans. His general health was good and he had done extremely well with the first round of radiation. It looked like he was doing equally well this time around, but for some reason --there are many possible explanations-- his brain initiated the series of profound seizures that ended his life despite the best efforts of several different medical teams. He may have known I would not give him up, and flown away on his own.

He will be forever in the thoughts and in the lives of his family and friends.

I will see him again.

Edited December 28, 2012 by pkcrossley

[bradl]

He will be forever in the thoughts and in the lives of his family and friends.

Amen.

Thank you for sharing Redmon and thanks to Redmon for bringing you into our family too.

Peace to you both.

[Zekey's Mom]

What a warm and loving tribute to a noble little Cairn. Such a crafty guy, stealing your breakfast! Warm hugs to you and Teddy to comfort you in the days to come.

[Ivy & Lucy's Mom]

I am so sorry for your loss and the awful experience that you went through with Redmon. I share a similar experience. My little Jack developed seizures at the age of seven. An MRI showed no brain tumor, etc... It appeared that he had epilepsy. He was fine with meds for six months and then he took a turn for the worse. He was hospitalized for a week trying to control the seizures. Eventually, he had seizures every few minutes on his last day-some petit mal and some grand mal. What a terrible and horrifying experience. I don't think I will ever get over the pain of watching my wonderful little guy go through that.

Redmon brought you a lot of love and joy. He will be with you in your heart forever. Take care and thanks for sharing your love of your little cairn with the rest of us.

[remltr]

PK

I am so sorry for your loss and I don't know what else to say, I just want to cry.

Dave

[Hillscreek]

Thanks for sharing Redmon with us.

He is at rest and in your heart.

Peace

[Tami]

I'm so sorry that Redmon is gone. It sounds like he was such a good dog that he wanted to stay with you as long as he could and gave you that extra year before he had to go. Hugs to you PK, to Teddy and your family.

[shergry]

Dear, dear friend!!!! I was doing pretty good up till the last paragraph...now the tears are really flowing. (((super hugs))) And of course those in our home are sending many, many prayers of remember ALL the precious, funny, cute, loveable, ok just every moment Redmon left in your life.

Through your life with Redmon and Teddy you have shown me SO much...and to think I have had Cairns for over 30 years....you ARE such an inspiration!! If I could I would literally hug you till you had to beg for air....that is how much you mean to me (and our furkids!!).

May know that as you shall see Redmon again..we shall be there with our furkids too!! I shall mark it in my heart as a play date...OK!!!

May you feel better, remember longer and give even more hugs to Teddy and the kitties, etc. I think you have more pets....right??

In true friendship, cairnship...Sheryl, Gary, Ashes, Sulley, Betsy, oh yeah Sasha the cat (chew toy for Betsy)

[Sam I Am]

Oh PK, I am so sorry. We all fell in love with Redmon and I know having a senior Cairn also with a chronic condition brings the deep loss you feel into my heart. It's always the question of why are their lives so short, but someone I think on this site said it was because if they were with us for our life time, and we lost them after so many years together, it would be almost impossible to deal with.

You are an amazing person and for me an inspiration and a wealth of knowledge. Thank you so much for the wonderful eulogy of Redmonds life. I am sure one day you will see him again. Hold Teddy tight and let that little ones bravery carry you through this difficult time.

[LizzieP]

So, so sorry. Peace to you and your family.

[idaho 2]

My heart aches for you, and tears are flowing!

Peace and comfort to you

[Kathryn]

PK - you and Redmon, and Teddy too, have taught me so much about cairns. And I have had cairns in my life since 1984, when we got Annie, our first. Still, your perspectives have been invaluable, sometimes encouraging, sometimes calming. I think Redmon must have been the source of many of your insights. I have learned to prize your postings, and your many stories and thoughts about Redmon specifically and cairns generally.

I will miss terribly this little dog I never met...but I hope his memory fills your heart with gratitude for knowing him. I do think that, in our lives, each of us gets one or maybe a couple dogs who are truly great, our soul mates. Redmon was one of yours, clearly, and I think your spirits must be intertwined for eternity.

So sorry you lost him. But so happy you had him.

Edited December 29, 2012 by Kathryn

[tlwtheq]

God bless you and your family. Thanks for sharing your life and Redmon's life with us.

[Idaho Cairns]

I am sorry the good battle that Redmon and you put up did not succeed, it is a very sad day. I wish there were anything that I could say or do to end the pain for you but I cannot--it is impossible to make it go away right now. It appears you did all that was humanly possible for your Redmon and that he worked hard to stay with you but it wasn't to be. Still, twelve years is a good long time to have the love and warmth of a wonderful dog beside you.

Try to let all the wonderful the memories push back the heart ache, let time work it's magic and if there is anything I can do, considerate it done. Special prayer for Redmon and you tonight. Peace.

Chuck

Edited December 29, 2012 by Idaho Cairns

[utgaard]

My thoughts are with you and your family. Thank-you for taking Redmon into your home and thank-you for sharing him with us.

[hheldorfer]

PK, that was a beautiful tribute to your boy. It brought me to tears, thinking of the love you gave each other and how valiantly you both struggled to give him a little more quality time on this earth. I feel your pain as if it was my own; as if Redmon was my boy, too.

Bless you for fighting the good fight by his side, day after day. I hope you find peace in your many memories of Redmon. No one here shall ever forget him.

Helene

[jo_]

I wish I could say something to ease your pain. M thoughts are with you. May Redmon rest in peace.

Today I said goodbye to my old friend

I pray some day we get to meet again

Under one more clear, blue sky

Up there where the eagles fly

And we'll go walking in the sunshine

With a big smile on our face

Race the river to the ocean

Go splashing in the waves

And I'll wrap my arms around you

We'll be together once again

And I'll tell you how much I've missed you

My old friend

I know you're up there looking down

On that rainbow bridge we talked about

There's a place for me and you

Somewhere up there behind the moon

[kieiras mom]

your tribute of Redmon was priceless. May your heart and mind be filled with the wonderful memories that were made. Prayers and tears are in my heart for you.

[Rawrkats]

Noooo! Redmon's story is very tough on the heart. I can only imagine how you felt seeing that poor pup listless in the petshop. I love that you took him home and gave him the best life he could've gotten. Just remember All Dogs go to Heaven!

[cairnrescueleague]

Oh Pamela, I am so, so sorry to hear about Redmon's passing. I am honored to have met him, and that you have so many years of good memories to keep in your heart. I'm glad Teddy was of comfort to him. I also want you to know that Redmon had someone very special to meet him at the Bridge today. My friend Sue DeWitt, who was also a friend of cairns and a great friend of rescue, passed away this morning. I think Redmon needed someone like Sue to be there for him, and I know she's looking after him.

Katie

[Carolinasmom]

Still sniffling here. What a beautiful story you told! Thanks for sharing the details of Redmon's life. I will be thinking of you.

[shergry]

Dear Katie:

We humans just never know how much these Cairns are needed. So sorry for the loss of a good fellow Cairn groopie!! May ALL of Ms. DeWitt's family and friends be held in loving arms, remembering all the great times together! Knowing Redmon is with a Cairn Mom is knowing that they are having a GREAT TIME!!! Another play date in my heart for the future!!

[eastofeden]

PK So sorry for your loss. What a lovely memorial to a one of a kind cairn. Our thoughts are with you

[Critterlover]

prayers for you and beautiful redmon

[BetsyNoodle]

Oh, pk, I am so very sorry for your loss of your sweet boy - and so shocked. I have been away from the forum for the past few days, and was unaware that Redmon's tumor had recurred and he had a seizure. It sounds like you, Redmon, and Redmon's veterinary teams gave it your all and more, but the disease proved too formidable.

I had so hoped and prayed for his continued health.

Thank you for sharing with us the lovely tribute you wrote for Redmon, even as your heart was breaking. It had me in tears. It warmed my heart that he, you and Teddy had a wonderful Christmas and that Redmon was able to enjoy his Christmas day dinner, some special cuddle time with Teddy, and some relaxing moments in front of the warm fire. pk, Redmon knew he was loved. And, he loved you. What a blessing that the two of you crossed paths in that little store.

I wish there were some magic words or deeds to take away or even lessen your pain, but there are none. But, I will tell you this: I came to know Redmon well through all your posts, so I am heartbroken and grieving with you. I will never forget him.

You will see Redmon again, no doubt. In the meantime, his strong, fearless Cairn spirit will be right beside you every day.

Sending you and Teddy hugs,

Melissa

Edited December 29, 2012 by BetsyNoodle