Ancient Cairn Secrets

[Malcolm's Dad]

Woof! Malcolm here. As Clan Chieftain of my backyard and the neighbor's too I want to call the other chieftains to share our wisdom with the youth on the forum.

Proudly wearing his kilt Malcolm raises his paw and says "All hail Skye."

There are ancient Cairn secrets that have served our breed well. A Cairn will learn these as time passes. I'd like to give the puppies and young ones a head start so that they carry on our fine traditions as soon as they are ready. Here are some ancient Cairn secrets to pass on.

Ancient Cairn Secret #1: Uprights are soooo easy.

Ancient Cairn Secret #2: Rolling over and folding your paws will get you anything you want or get you out of any trouble. Remember secret #1 while doing this.

Ancient Cairn Secret #3: Everything in your realm belongs to you including chairs and beds. Uprights need to constantly be reminded of this. You may share if you wish. Sharing is not mandatory.

[hheldorfer]

Buffy would like to add:

Ancient Cairn Secret #4: When all else fails, the Cairn Death Screech will stop all uprights in their tracks and force them to focus their attention on you (which is where it should be).

[Autumn & Lola]

Ancient Cairn Secret #5: If it stinks, it must be rolled in.

[Tuesday]

Ancient Cairn Secret #6: All new items brought into your realm must be inspected by you. Do not allow the Uprights to sneak anything by you. Stand up if you must, but get that snout in those bags, boxes and envelopes.

[JCDickens]

Ancient Cairn Secret #7: Ignore the uprights, go for the squirrel!

[Hillscreek]

Ancient cairn secret #7. If the cute look, followed by a gentle touch, doesn't get your upright's attention, a sharp loud bark repeated should do the trick

[Zekey's Mom]

Ancient Cairn Secret #8: You've got to keep those uprights on their toes. Just for fun, when they let you out at night before bed, just go somewhere in the yard and pretend to "go". Then, at 3AM, paw loudly at the bedroom door, and keep running back and forth between the bed and the door. That'll get them up in a hurry!

--Gavin

[Dempsy's Mom]

Ancient Cairn Secret #9: All that squeaks must be destroyed.

[Hawkeye]

Ancient Cairn Secret #10: When the uprights yell "NO BARK", they really don't mean it. State your case!

[Kathryn]

Ancient Cairn Secret #11: If you find something in the yard or on the street that smells good and you don't know what it is, go ahead and taste it. You can always throw it up later if it upsets your stomach.

Ancient Cairn Secret #12: You can lick the male upright's toes, but you can't lick the female upright's toes. Or vice versa. But there are never two people in the same house who will let you lick their toes. Or their faces...

Ancient Cairn Secret #13: You can lick the dishes in the dishwasher only when the uprights don't catch you. So don't get in a scrap about a particular dish with your brother or sister cairn, because then neither of you gets to lick.

Ancient Cairn Secret #14: After finishing your food, always check the bowl of the other cairn. They may have left a molecule for you.

[Kathryn]

Oh yes, and Ancient Cairn Secret #15: If they let you sleep in the bed, stretch out horizontally right in the middle. Look cute and wag your tail slowly. The uprights will curl around you on each side, and keep you warmer. But they will not probably not make you move.

[DemiSheep]

Ancient Cairn Secret #7a: Whatever you're doing when the uprights call, it is much more important than anything they could want or need. So unless you're done just pretend you didn't hear them.

Ancient Cairn Secret #16: If you THINK you saw something or heard something outside the window, bark like heck. It's much safer to bark than not to bark.

[remltr]

Ancient Cairn Secret #16A: Bark like heck, just for the heck of it. It's not any safer, but sure is fun watching the uprights trying to figure what the heck you are barking at.

[jo_]

LOL!!!!!!!!! So true, so true.

Thanks for the early morning laughs everyone!

[Sam I Am]

Ancients Cairn secret #17A. They don't own us, we own them.Cairns rule!

[JCDickens]

Cairn Rule #18:

If you're locked in a crate for some reason, stomp your feet as loudly as you can against the plastic floor. That'll get the uprights' attention. If that doesn't work, whine like crazy and cue the cute puppy look. Works like a charm!

[kieiras mom]

Cairn rule #19:The bully rub plea always works wonders.

[tlwtheq]

Cairn Rule #20: When outdoors frolicking and your uprights summon, stare back at them like you don't understand. You can get

away with it sometimes and it's fun.

[utgaard]

Cairn Rule #21: If it runs, it should be chased or barked at. This includes squirrels, cats, rats, possums, deer, crows, seagulls, other dogs, cars (sometimes they bark back!), joggers, lawn mowers, kids on skateboards or scooters, bicycles, trucks, buses, ceiling fans, the tide and waves, and the furnace.

[JCDickens]

Cairn Rule #22: When your upright gives you a fresh new bone, dance. Wag your tail like crazy and shift your front paws to and fro. Uprights falls for this!

[Kathryn]

Cairn rule #22, above. They all seem to know this dance, don't they? They remind me of R2D2 (the little robot) in Star Wars.

[Zekey's Mom]

Cairn Rule #23: Every once in a while, don't use one of your paws. Doesn't matter which one, you can switch them at random. Keeps the uprights on their toes and gets you extra loving. (Caveat: Not to last more than a day, or you may find yourself with an unnecessary trip to the vet's!)

[Zekey's Mom]

Cairn Rule #24: To uphold the Cairn Code of Honor, all toys must be destuffed and desqueaked within 30 seconds of receipt. No exceptions.

[JCDickens]

Ancient Cairn Secret #25: When in training class summon the UBER-CUTE personna, then wait as the Alpha Upright Trainer tells your Upright she doesn't see a problem. Heeheehee! Works like a charm AND the Alpha Upright gives you extra yummy treats. WIN!