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Not letting them sleep on the bed


Brianne_Kathrine

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I have allowed Benny and Sally to sleep on my bed for years. Although they were both crate trained (Sally more successfully than Benny) I have been lax about where they sleep and thats lead to my bed. It really has not been a big issue for me that they sleep on my bed because I have been single and so it did not really make any difference to me.

Well, the situation is going to be changing soon. I will be getting married next year (very very excited about it...the guy loves Benny and Sally too) So, I am trying to get Benny and Sally used to new sleeping arrangements, but they are both having a hard time with the transition. I put them in the bathroom to sleep along with their beds.

Benny is doing well with actually sleeping in the bathroom. He has shown some other strange behaviors which I am trying to break him of doing. The past week he has been jumping on my bed if I am just laying on it and then proceeding to "hump" me as much as he can. He has never done this before, so I can only assume that the two are related.

Sally is the one who will not sleep in the bathroom. She whines and scratches at the door just begging to be let out of the bathroom. She will carry on for hours and wake up several times during the night to make noise. My patience and my fiances patience is wearing thin with Sally.

Does anyone have any suggestions for things that can be done to make this transition easier for Benny and Sally. My fiance loves my dogs, but he does not want to share a bed with them. Four months ago I moved to Texas and so the two have had to make the adjustment to a new place.

Any suggestions are much appreciated. I just want to make this easier for the dogs. I also need to get Sally to quiet down at night because that is getting really annoying.

The world revolves around Benny and Sally...or so they think!

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this is just a guess, but i bet things will get even more complicated before they smooth out (which they certainly will). it sounds like benny and sally are not only upset about not sleeping on the bed as they are used to, benny clearly understands exactly why the changes are happening. they are going to have the anxieties that kids would have under the same circumstances --they feel they are losing you, they will move to the margins of your life, they will see less of you, spend less time with you, etc etc. very many dogs have anxieties around men, so even if they know your fiance and like him, they may have a kind of categorical anxiety about him actually being in the house. i would be surprised if benny doesn't try some defiant marking once the deal is done. they don't see this as not being allowed to sleep on the bed. they see this as losing their bed spots to somebody else (they know what is going on, they are cairns). that hurts a bit, apart from being lonely and being afraid that it is only the thin edge of the wedge.

what you can't do is change the program in response to their whining and complaining. so if your decision is that for now they should sleep in the bathroom, then have them sleep in the bathroom no matter what kind of racket they are making. once they are absolutely sure that they can't convince you to fold and let them sleep wherever they want, they won't waste their time making noise. but they will try it a long time just to be sure. i would say: only change one part of their lives at a time. if the immediate project is to sleep in the bathroom, then keep everything else the same (you may have to check yourself on that). once the bathroom thing is achieved, if you want to change something else, just change that one thing. do everything you can to assure them that just because they have had something change in their lives, it doesn't mean that their place in your life or in your heart has changed. they will have great anxieties about that, maybe for months.

once your fiance is in the house, it would probably be a good time for him to have his own time with the dogs. it should probably be in the house, where they feel confident and "at home." make sure that he has time to sit with them, throw things for them, and so on (i definitely would not suggest that his first activity with them be walking them). the goal would be that they become as possessive of him as they are of you! if they make you feel a bit the way they felt when they had to give up their bed space to make room for somebody else, then it will be a success!

clearly your fiance is no stranger to the dogs, and he may already have spent quality time with them. if so, the dogs may feel that it is a bit different when he actually lives in the house, but if they are already comfortable with him i would expect the adjustment period to be very short. if they haven't had time to "claim" him, then it may take longer.

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Just curious - why did you decide to move them to the bathroom rather than to a crate (or crates) in the bedroom? Even if they can't be in bed with you, maybe they'd adapt more easily to sleeping in crates in the bedroom where they can still be near you.

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She whines and scratches at the door just begging to be let out of the bathroom.

I understand that many dogs will bark & whine when kept behind a closed door. Perhaps a baby gate in the bathroom doorway would work better.

FEAR THE CAIRN!

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Once habituated to a behavior/habit, Cairns are, in my experience, hard to retrain and harder still to persuade to accept change. My only suggestion to you would be to elevate the bed to a height that the dogs cannot reach and then put up with the failed attempts to get into bed. Cairns are also smart enough to realize that beating their heads against the wall attempting to jump up on something they cannot reach is foolish so I suspect that after a few attempts they will find other comfortable places to sleep.

There is no way to logically explain to the dogs the need of privacy or your fiancee's wishes and/or preferences--obviously dogs are a bit too elemental for that degree of sophistication.

It does seem a shame to me that those capable of understanding the "need" long permitted and encouraged in these dogs couldn't be a bit more accommodating--sort of a(hint, hint!)"Love her--love her dogs" attitude. Nothing lasts forever and as one that remarried late in life, the first lesson I learned when I met potential new mates was that they were "packages" that often came with other treats inside--like kids and pets. Fortunately, in my salad lounge lizard days, I never ran into a snake charmer or a pit bull lover!

Good luck and no offense intended, it is just that I always come down on the side of the Cairn Terrier--loyalty is deep in me.

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